L. Ron Hubbard sent Tom Cruise a message telling the freaky ex-superstar to “stop using antiperspirants as they will ruin your career and little, microscopic life forms will feed off of your fame, reducing you to a washed up cult freak.” We think the message was sent a little late. Dancing like he’s up for Footloose: The VH1 Special, TomKat humped air like no one’s Risky Business. The DJ at David Beckham and Posh Spice’s “Welcome to America” party actually put on the theme from Risky Business and Sweaty Space Visitor Tom Cruise just went nuts, errrrr, we mean more nuts, excessively sweating like a sloth in a sauna and grinding more than two coked up bonobos (wow, now that would be a sight).

TomKat Totally Lets Go, Gets Excessive, Gets Freaky Sweaty

As reported by US Magazine:

Bump ’N’ Grind! Break dancing! Butt-slapping! Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and their pals had few inhibitions at the July 22 “Welcome to America” party the couple threw for Victoria and David Beckham in L.A.

As guests like Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Eva Longoria and Brooke Shields mingled, Jim Carrey pretended to spank girlfriend Jenny McCarthy as they boogied—and Will Smith rapped and did splits on the dance floor.

Yeah, the Beckhams entered America with an allstar sweaty freakout, taking excessively perspiring Tom Cruise away from his trouble with the Germans. Get some treatment Tom, at least for your explosive sweating, think of the children sweaty Tom.

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1 Response to “TomKat Totally Lets Go, Gets Excessive, Gets Freaky Sweaty”

  1. 1 Thomas

    This is an unbelievebly stupid site: sweating, like eating and sleeping is not to be afraid of, we would die without it, learn to live with it. You people are so scared people!!!

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