Good God, if that gold sweaty thing wasn’t chasing after tennis balls it would eat you and your entire family!

Honestly, that was the first thought on all of our twisted minds when we saw the photo below of little known tennis pro, Beth Mattek. In quite possibly the worst photo of a relatively attractive person ever taken, Beth Mattek looks like she just got off the set of some 70’s gold and tennis themed porno.

Monstrously Sweaty and Gold, Beth Mattek is Early for Halloween

Wearing an outfit worthy of Caligula, Beth Mattek, her excess sweat and her wardrobe literally all shine at the U.S. Open.

Nothing succeeds like excess? Nothing succeeds like a sweaty gold mess? Beth Mattek, we actually like you for all of your wardrobe daring, shine on sweaty mistress of the racket, shine on.

Extremely Sweaty Gold Mess has a New Mascot in Beth Mattek

Golden turkey anyone? Gobble, gobble. We can only imagine being there to witness both the excessive sweating and metalic gold together at last, for the Bad Taste, Reunion Tour 2007.

Where did it go all wrong? At Wimbledon, Beth Mattek spent the crucial time before her match with one of the Williams sisters (do you really care which one? We didn’t think so), shopping to find the perfect outfit to wear during the duel. In this case, we think it was time well spent Chucky dollface.

Wimbledon 70s Tennis Outfit Worn by Sweaty Beth Mattek
Tennis Pro and Extreme Shopper, Beth Mattek Loves to Sweat for Appearances

See, she’s kinda cute afterall, but yo, that first sweaty pic, we’re still recovering from all that raw sweat and gold.

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2 Responses to “Extremely Sweaty Gold Mess has a New Mascot in Beth Mattek”

  1. 1 tlover

    Someone just posted a poll on this site regarding some sexy picture of the tennis playe Beth Mattek.
    Check it out: http://www.pollsb.com/polls/view/1881/what-s-the-firssst-thing-you-notice

  2. 2 MrDumiya

    i’d love to meet girls on this who like geting sweaty and think it’s sexy

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