Celebrity Sweating: Excessive people, excessive sweating.

Excessive sweating sufferer and gravity-challenged, Kelly Osbourne has the souls of mediocre rockers hidden inside her giant hair. It’s literally a graveyard of hair metal bands and jilted dreams circling around a vortex of white makeup, weight-loss schemes and past sweaty reality-TV glory.

You didn’t know sweaty Kelly Osbourne was in Spaceballs, did you? Yes, she was one of the Goth Nerd Lords, the worst of the sweaty Siths.

Perspiration plagued Kelly Osbourne is one of those, famous for being famous, contemporary sweaty stars, who roll with what little merits they accrue, staying in the celebrity world longer than they rightfully deserve… Could anyone really ever claim that she would have been as successful as she was (which was not very successful, she was more sucessful at sweating and sweat staining dresses) if she wasn’t on a hugely popular reality TV show? We think not, but then again, who really knows for sure.

Chubby sweat geyser, Kelly Osbourne is set to play the lead in Stephen King’s new Goth Clown Thriller. Word on the street, is that it’s set at the Alamo, in Texas… What was so special about the Alamo again? We forget.

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