People Magazine’s Excessively Sweatiest Man Alive: Matthew McConaughey
Published April 8th, 2008 in Action Sweatin, Armpit Sweat Stains, Celebrity Make-Out Sweat, Celebrity Sweating, Chest Sweating, Excessive Armpit Sweating, Face Sweating, Has Been Sweating, Head Sweating, Matthew McConaughey Sweating, Party Excessive Sweating, Party Sweat.Can People Magazine suck more? We dare not think about it as this fine specimen of questionable sweaty celebrity is their Sexiest Man Alive. In his life-long role as sweaty and slightly gay frat-guy douche bag, Matthew McConaughey is the poor man’s male lead in every respect. Name a truly memorable role by this guy, we can’t. This guy has the on screen charisma of Chia Pet. Is this a huge inside joke by People Magazine?
Excessive sweating never looked as mediocre. However sweaty and uninspiring this guy’s career is, he seems to score with the celebrity babes: Sandra Bullock, Ashley Judd, Salli Richardson, and Penelope Cruz. He’s currently dating super babe, Brazilian Camila Alves. For more sweaty douche bag behavior, continue reading…
Sexy dude, sexy brah. Hey man, did you make up those moves yourself? Sweaty white Rastafarian is totally in this season.
Obviously this girl is not sober. Or maybe she can’t smell all that excessive sweating?
Matthew McConaughey is the New England Clam Chowder of the acting world. It’s rather inoffensive to the palette, but you wouldn’t want to eat it everyday, and you don’t exactly get excited about it. There’s also something vaguely disgusting about clam chowder. We know, we’re true sweaty poets. The prosecution rests, we’ll let you decide, huge sweating douche bag or hugely untalented sweating douche bag?
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