Excessive sweating for excessive people: Celebrity Sweating

Oh excessive sweating David Hasselhoff, if you didn’t exist, we would need to engineer you out of pubic hair, muscle mass and sweat. Oh Mr. Hasselhoff, it’s been a while since we’ve saw the video of you, lying drunk, shirtless and sweaty on your floor, eating some sort takeout with your hands, all the while being lectured by your teenage daughter. It was a Hallmark moment to remember.

Hassle-Tits Sweaty Hasselhoff Strikes Again

Have you seen the new Knight Rider on NBC Hasselhoff? If explosive diarrhea was made into a TV show, you know, the kind where you break out into a cold-sweat, it would be something like the new Knight Rider. Just when you think the show can’t get any crappier, something new happens and everything’s a sweaty, smelly crappy mess again.

Oh, and if you’re wondering sweaty David Hasselhoff, they replaced your Kitt with a Ford Mustang. Yeah, we know, they went from one lower-level American sports car to another, more obnoxious, but equally lower-level American sports car, the Ford Shelby GT 500 KR Mustang. Oh wow, yeah, the Knight Rider character has all the money and resources in the world, but he chooses to super-size a Mustang with lasers and computer shiz. A stupid Mustang.

David Hasselhoff Stays Cool and Sweat-free Here

Knight Rider No Sweat

Anyways Hasselhoff, it was a real nice cameo you had in the two-hour backdoor pilot that aired on February 17, 2008. Keep up the good work, and try to keep those man-boobs dry and sweat-free, sweat lactation isn’t a good look for you.

Oh the 80’s, if we could only return to ridiculously simple plots propelled by one dimensional characters… What a sweat-free and careless retarded world it would be…

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