Excessive sweating for excessive people: Celebrity Sweating

Excessive Sweating Cristiano Ronaldo Sweats Through Layers

Excessive sweating, whore-loving, international soccer stud, Cristiano Ronaldo doesn’t really have a problem in the world, besides of course, middle-class morals and values, which he has none… Sweaty Cristiano Ronaldo, for those of you out of touch with the rest of the world, is Manchester United’s Portuguese soccer star (football star to the rest of the world outside the U.S.). Soccer is that sweaty, frustating sport with very little scoring that everyone else in the world absolutely loves. With so little scoring, soccer riots are a part of the fun… Sort of like if no one is having sweaty, perspiration-drenched sex, crime goes up in that area (riots of passion)…

And he’s really something. Off the soccer field, sweaty Cristiano Ronaldo loves to party with teammates and some hired help, otherwise known as prostitutes. Incredibly talented, incredibly good-looking and extremely sweaty, does not equal easily satiated. Rock-on sweaty rockstar.

Everyone Loves Cristiano

Cristiano Ronaldo, Manchester United’s winger, has been voted the Ultimate Gay Icon in a poll of British gay men performed by, you’ll never guess, Gay Gold Diggers. On the sweaty internets, there’s something for everyone. Could this be why Cristiano is sweating so much?

Gay Gold Diggers is quoted as saying:

Ronaldo’s ripped body, slicked-back hair, shiny white teeth and jewellery swung the votes his way. He looks like any gay man or woman’s dream. What with being Footballer of the Year, scoring 42 goals last season and former girlfriends saying he is talented off the pitch, he seems to have everything going for him.

What about his excessive sweating? We think they like his sweating too… Celebrity Sweating does. Eurotrash, sweat-challenged soccer pro bumped Aussie pop tart Kylie Minogue to second place. The gay icon list is as follows:

Sweaty Cristiano Ronaldo Having a Bromance

1. Cristiano Ronaldo

2. Kylie Minogue

3. Judy Garland

4. Elton John

5. Liza Minnelli

6. The Village People

7. David Beckham

8. George Michael

9. John Barrowman

10. Paul O’Grad

Questionable playboy activities, yes. Worth millions in euros? Yes, indeed, and we have video proof in pudding…

Looks like the eurotrash traveling party is floating in the air at moments… It’s actually amazing to watch, and we don’t even like soccer. We’d be sweating if we had to be on the opposing team.

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