Alicia Keys Keeps the Door Open to Her Major Excessive Sweating

By Excessive Sweating | Published: November 29, 2007

We have a suspicious feeling that sweaty Alicia Keys is some kind of Pop Frankenstein-like amalgamation of music stars of years past and present. Perspiring Alicia has the talent, in the general sense, and the pedigree, but we really think she’s the sweaty Borg of contemporary music. Alicia Keys songs sound okay in that soon to be adult contemporary kind of way, but it’s the aural equivalent of overchewed gum, tasteless but still malleable or soft enough to be chewed and played with…

Alicia Keys Keeps the Door Open to Her Excessive Sweating

Alicia may give good face, but she also gives a really sweaty armpit as well.

Stumbling upon an Alicia Keys song begs the question, does anyone invest in lyrics anymore? Thusly, does anyone listening actually care about lyrics anymore? She maybe pretty enough and almost sweaty enough, but what does it matter? What’s happened to the Pop music with passion and style? Excessively sweaty, pretty mediocrity rules. Resistence is futile.

Alicia Keys as Posh Urban MediocrityBare Back Sweaty Alicia KeysAlicia Keys as the Sweaty Golden OtherAlicia Keys Giving Good Face, No SweatAlicia Keys Sexed Up with No SweatAlicia Keys as the Cute Multicultural Girl at the Cafe with No Sweat

Mediocrity packaged to sell, sell, sell…

This entry was posted in Alicia Keys Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, Inconvenient Sweating, Sweaty Armpits. Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

4 Comments

  1. vile kyle
    Posted April 22, 2008 at 2:32 am | Permalink

    FUCK YA’LL! ALICIA IS THE SHIT AND HER LYRICS ARE GREAT! I’LL LICK THE SWEAT FROM HER CRACKS ANY DAY!

  2. Who cares?
    Posted May 20, 2008 at 2:14 pm | Permalink

    She is a human. Humans sweat. This is inevitable. If she was panting like a dog then I’d understand the media fascination…but who actually cares. Oh wait, hang on a moment – I do feel like a better person knowing that someone we idolise can also be photographed not looking perfect. Now I get it.

  3. You're a Hater Lol SipSip
    Posted March 25, 2009 at 3:20 pm | Permalink

    Sounds like you’re drinking hater juice… This post is so whack that it doesn’t deserve a response but I couldn’t resist to tell you how lame it is..

  4. martin
    Posted February 4, 2010 at 6:22 am | Permalink

    Damn ………..tell me who doesn’t sweat………..

One Trackback

  1. By Sweaty Alicia Keys, Remember Her? at Excessive sweating for excessive people: Celebrity Sweating on December 7, 2009 at 5:31 am

    [...] called it back in November 29th of 2007 (Alicia Keys Keeps the Door Open to Her Major Excessive Sweating)…  Sweaty Alica Keys is on her way to the adult comtemporary market.  And you say, sweaty [...]

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