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How do you say?  Excessive sweating explosion? No?

Celebrity Sweating loves that this ten kilo-ton sweating bomb, which is obviously more powerful that what we thought was humanly possible, is also wearing a gold chain topped by the thug haircut.  Really good look there Walter Pandiani.  Poor Walter, you can’t be to hard on a guy named Walter…

Soccer, who understands it.  Hardly anything ever happens and these overpaid playboys cheat and act their way into winning games all the time.  Sweaty dude is sweaty.

By the way, we’re back.  Sorry for the hiatus, we were working on our gangster rap careers. Okay, fine, it was interpretive dance, and it made us feel whole inside.  You shut that filthy mouth of yours!

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Eva Amurri Sweating in Red All Over the Red Carpet

And she’s sweating all over Hollywood, it’s the pits.

Susan Sarandon & Daughter Eva Amurri, it’s like Susan Sarandon got younger, taller and hotter all at once.

Eva Amurri, Not Just a Sweaty Susan Sarandon 2.0

We had to show a pic from the sweaty strip club scene from Californication, you know, for science.

Eva Amurri Californication

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Jamie Dornan Excessive Sweating Fashion Branding

We’ve never heard of this Jamie Dornan guy, but he keeps good company (sweaty Eva Mendes).  So he’s alright with us.

We Would Love Sweaty Eva Mendes On Our Backs

We love this kind of branding naturally…  Not as interesting as de-branding (giving trashy celebrities your competitor’s products), but for us, this is public sweating done right.

Why are male models always so random?  Like, they’re so replaceable and interchangeable without breaking a sweat…

Hope you all had a wonderful, sweaty summer!

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Dina Lohan Sweating Parasite or Regular Hollywood Mom: You Decide

Does perspiring Dina Lohan pop out daughters just to be famous?  Or is there something even more sinister afoot? And is sweaty Dina Lohan the chicken or the egg?  And what came first, the plastic surgery or the meth?  I think someone scrambled our eggs and tossed our Prozac with our salad.  This is Zoomanity!

Let’s see what Anderson Cooper says about Living Lohan:

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Anderson Cooper:  One.  Dina Lohan:  Zero.  Your move sweaty Lohans!

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Vanessa Hudgens Exotic Sweat Glow

Glowing Vanessa Hudgens is a rare angel in Hollywood, an angel who has nude pics released but yet remains every bit the extraordinary beauty, gracefully navigating through controversy, flicking the annoyance past her like fallen paparazzi on the red carpet.

Vanessa Hudgens even sweats with a glowing radiance.

Cropped, no sweat and censored, but every bit as beautiful as the original.  Zac Efron, you lucky, lucky dog!  It was their chemistry (Zac and Vanessa’s chemistry that is) that helped them get the part for High School Musical, and now they’re part of Hollywood history…

No Sweat Vanessa Hudgens Gives Good Leaked Photos

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Sarah Jessica Parker and Her Excessive Sweating Armpit

Those of us at Celebrity Sweating that have a penis, think sweaty Sarah Jessica Parker sucks and that Sex and the City (the TV show and especially the movies) sucks on level that makes everything else that sucks suck less.  That’s a lot of sweaty sucking.

If there was a term for the philosophy of Sex and the City, it could be labeled as anorexic feminism.  That is, feminism so vapid, commercial and lacking in constructive ideas, that it starves the life out of what being a modern woman is about, that is, it is destructive and basically poisonous to the collective psychology of women.

We didn’t even take Women Studies 101 in college and we can see this plain as day.  Sarah Jessica Parker knows that what she produces is horrible, you can just tell with all of her excessive sweating.

In the Sex and the City world, women are culturally insensitive shallow hogs that are concerned with the most base, and mindless desires while hoarding expensive designer clothes, shoes and accessories without ever understanding the culture and art that goes into those things.  Women who where the brand for the brand.  We could go on and on.  It’s retarded, seriously. Like the picture below.

Why the Sweaty Long Face? (Still Not Sexy)

Retarded like this quote from sweaty Sarah Jessica Parker about her new fragrance coming out soon:

“I’m working on a new genderless fragrance that’s not out yet,” says Parker. “I can’t even tell you what it’s called. It has taken me three years to decide on the scent because I really like B.O. and I think it’s sexy. I wanted to figure out a way to make it palatable to everybody. I was like, ‘How do you get B.O. in a bottle and make an atomiser of it?’”

Retarded.

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JWoww is a Picture of Silicone in a Sea of Excessive Sweat

We really don’t understand Jersey Shore, because we deal with douche bags every day, driving on the Los Angeles freeway.  Why would we want to watch sweaty douche bags when we come home to relax?

Watching idiots being idiots has never been that charming to us, but it seems to have transfixed the rest of the world.  Why?  Oh why?  It really makes us excessively sweaty in frustration.

The same people we avoided in High School are seemingly all the rage now as sweaty skanky reality stars are everywhere in our everything.

From skanky housewives to skanky Snooki’s, fame has never been so low.Proof of skank, the MySpace from above bikini shot.  The prosecution rests.

JWoww in Her Skanky MySpace Bikini Shot

We really wished Idiocracy was a better movie because it really is a window into our sweat-filled skanked future.

JWoww Sweaty Workout

Jersey Shore, the kind of show where fashion houses send their competitor’s products as gifts to the stars (Unbranding) in hopes that they wear and embarass these companies…  True Hollywood Story.

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Keira Knightley Posed Workout Sweating

Keira Knightly Excessively Sweaty Face is Still Cover Girl Material

It’s rather amazing how Keira Knightley’s gorgeous head can just float in thin air like that…  Just amazing.

We kid, we love this girl from the neck up, and you should too.  So much talent for just a head floating in air.

Keira Knightely Magazine Worthy Indeed

Kiera Knightley has been taking it easy, taking a break from her career, but you can see her in next year’s final Pirates of the Caribbean.

More Keira Knightley excessive sweating, and we highly recommend this Keira Knightley sweating tome:

Keira Excessive Sweating Knightley Near You

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Zac Efron Excessive Sweating for Fashion's Sake

Some people are just too lucky, and in this case, it’s okay, because all in all, Zac Efron is one of the good guys in Hollywood.

Zac Efron Sweating the Gym Parking Lot

Excessive sweating dude gives good face, even good sweaty face.  We give  up, dude’s just too beautiful to make fun of, and what could you say?

You can see Mr. Zac Efron in a film adaption of Full Metal Panic called Panic and the live-action adaption of Johny Quest.

These big budget movies could settle sweaty Zac Efron firmly as a Hollywood leading man, depending upon their box office success of course.

Zac Efron's Sweaty Pretty Face

Even a gross sweaty close-up doesn’t ruin this man’s face.

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William H Macy Sweating his Man Boobs

Sweaty William H. Macy is an artist, proof below:

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Last year in January, William H. Macy replaced sweaty Jeremy Piven in David Mamet’s Speed-the-Plow on Broadway.  As to current projects, you can look for him in House of Re-Animator (2010), The President of the United States (2010), and A Single Shot (2011).

Indeed, a great character actor.  Don’t yeah know?

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Katie Price Sweating Out in Nature

So little talent, such big boobs, so much sweating, it’s the rise of civilization, we’ve come so far…

People these days are just famous for being awful, just downright awful (Heidi Montag for example), check out this one time sweaty celebrity couple from across the pond, Katie Price and who cares (some dude, looks like every other dude you’ll find at an urban club).

It’s depressing…  People talk about this reality star and that reality star, and we have no idea why these people are famous and even who they are…  Celebrity has become so watered down, we’re whining about the fact that it doesn’t mean anything any more and that in itself is ridiculous as well.

She’s sweating a lot, and that’s all we have to say, because we have no idea why she’s anybody worth talking about.  Kill us now.

Katie Price (Jordan) and Sweaty Dude of a Husband

Katie Price is currently married to Alex Reid (MMA fighter) What exactly is Jordan’s appeal besides the obvious?  We have no idea…  We will never know.

A Celebrity Couple that Stretches Together Stays Sweaty Together

More Katie Price sweating:

Plastic Boobs Galore, Jordan, Has a Some Excess Sweating Problems

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Mel Gibson Sweating Crazy Old Man and Horny Catfish Woods

If you want to sweat too much and be in shock for the rest of the day, read on dear reader (both of Mel Gibson’s rants follow ahead)….

The following phrase will be famous in relationship therapy circles as a tour de force of romantic passion:

“You should just smile and blow me, because I deserve it!”

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More sweaty passion of the Mel Gibson.  We just don’t get the hate?  Why the hate?  Stay focused on the girl Mel, when hating, stay focused!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Let this be a warning to all beautiful Russian women, don’t date the guy that gets tortured in almost all of his movies.  Or the guy that makes a two hour  sweaty torture movie about Jesus Christ.  Yeah, he’s probably not to healthy in the sanity department.

For your viewing pleasure, Christian Bale and sweaty Mel Gibson go at it!

Click here to view the embedded video.

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Michelle Obama Sweating the Hula Hoops

Michelle Obama sweating over the BP’s gulf oil disaster?   About two wars in the Middle East? About the fact that the economy is probably going to get a lot worse (who isn’t sweating about that?)?

No.  Michelle Obama is excessively sweating doing some important hula hooping y’all!

Is the Barack Obama presidency the final nail in the coffin against the arguments that the presidency isn’t just a puppet show for more powerful interests?

It certainly seems so sometimes…

This current president, what’s his name, is probably one the coolest dudes ever, but it is seemingly the same story, different face so far.  Or the continuation of a bad script, started ten years ago.

All this political talk, all we have to say is that hula hoops make us happy, like instantly.

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Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush Working Up a Sweat Together

We just love this sweaty celebrity couple!  Aren’t they the cutest?

Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush: Sexy Sweaty Couple

Reggie Bush Pushing Up Kim Kardashian

Enjoy Kim Kardashian in her Cleopatra pose!  We would totally let Kim Kardashian rule over us any time!

Not So Sweaty Here Kim Kardashian Striking her Most Regal Pose

For more Kim Kardashian excessive perspiration (everything this girl does is excessive), check out the links below:

Kim Kardashian Workout Big Butt Excessive Sweating

Kim Kardashian Loves that Sweating Look

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License to Sweat: Pierce Brosnan Excessively Sweats Obscurity

If the current angry, muscular brute of a James Bond, played Daniel Craig, isn’t a reaction to Pierce Brosnan’s James Bond, then we’re some kind of perverted celebrity body fluid bloggers. Okay, bad analogy.

Sweaty Pierce Brosnan might have been the best looking James Bond, but he just wasn’t believable as the charming international thug, who villains can’t kill before discussing their plans for world domination.

His fight scenes were too slow, too dainty, too clean.  He just didn’t seem like he was breaking any kind of sweat on screen, but he seems to sweat a lot off screen.

Famke Janssen as Xenia, steals the movie from sweaty pits Bronson, in Goldeneye as you’ll see below in our favorite scene from the movie:

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Sweaty Pierce Brosnan, you weren’t bad as Bond, just not believable, but you were entertaining.

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Keanu Reeves is One of the Coolest Sweaty Dudes on Earth

Sweaty airport traveler Keanu Reeves takes out stage hands for free lunches, gives crew members $20,000 (£16,500) bonuses, helps a women jumpstart there cars.  And to top it off, his name means “cool breeze through a mountain.”  What does your name mean?  Here’s a the Point Break trailer, this was the top of cool in the 90′s, we get excessively sweaty just thinking about this movie, rad.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Keanu Reeves has never married and no, the world does not make any sense.

Neither is the world fair!  In December of 1999, Keanu Reeves’ girlfriend Jennifer Syme gave birth to a stillborn daughter who was named Ava Archer Syme-Reeves.

Fast-forward to 2008, Keanu Reeves was sued, unsuccessfully in Los Angeles Superior Court for $711,974 by douche bag paparazzo Alison Silva for allegedly hitting and injuring him with his Porsche after visiting a relative at a Los Angeles medical facility. That’s right, Keanu was visiting someone at the hospital and gets sued.  Alison Silva makes scum look clean.  The frivolous lawsuit took a year and a half to make it to trial, during which time Alison Silva continued to attack Keanu Reeves and demand payment. At the trial all 12 jurors rejected the suit only needing an hour of deliberation to reach their verdict.  Keanu Reeves was cleared of all the charges.

Keanu Reeves is a Sweaty Immortal

While shooting some films in Australia he amazed the team of stuntmen by giving them each a £6,000 Harley Davidson motorcycle, and he’s done this sort of thing for a lot of productions.  There are no stories of Keanu Reeves being a douche bag.  None.  Just awesome stories about an awesome guy who’s had at times, a really rough life.

When Keanu Reeves sweats it up by playing bass for Dogstar, and the drunk groupie sluts are ruining the show and yelling “We love you!!!” and showing their boobs, you know what Keanu does?  He takes his bass and walks to behind the speaker stack and plays where he won’t be seen.  We’re not as cool as Keanu.  Hardly anyone is.

Keanu Reeves, you can sweat all you want, you’re most excellent.

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Jeremy Piven Sweating an Emmy for HBO

Ari Gold, or in real life (whatever that means), Jeremy Piven gets all sweaty during the Emmys, as he should, cause totally won brah.  Surf’s up for sweaty Jeremy Piven, who’s hit the Hollywood A-list with his character from HBO’s Entourage.

Who would have thought a show about some talentless hacks and their douche bag Hollywood friends would become such a hit?

Given that Jeremy Piven’s character basically makes the show and excessive sweating douche bag Adrian Grenier‘s acting and performance, basically ruins the show, you’d think that things would cancel each other out.  If only life was as simple as a math problem, it’d be no sweat.

Here’s an Ari Gold highlight reel, pure gold:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Jeremy Piven Keeping the Shape with a Good Sweat

You know, Tom Cruise‘s infamous Les Grossman character from Tropic Thunder is the sweatier Ari Gold, with more sweating, cocaine and steroids added, and we can’t be the first bloggers to point that out…

Anyways, here’s a bro hug for you, perspiration-faced Jeremy Piven, your Hollywood time has come.

Jeremy Piven Sweating the Malibu Triathlon

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Megan Fox Sweaty Boobs Can't Save Her Career

You might be reading and hearing her Hollywood diarrhea mouth spouting all kinds meaningless actress interview dribble, such as:

“God, I really wish I could go loose on this one. He’s like Napoleon and he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation. He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he’s a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he’s not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he’s so awkward, so hopelessly awkward. He has no social skills at all. And it’s endearing to watch him. He’s vulnerable and fragile in real life and then on set he’s a tyrant. Shia [Labeouf] and I almost die when we make a Transformers movie. He has you do some really insane things that insurance would never let you do.”

Megan Fox: More Sweaty Boob Modeling

That some major high school trash talk right there.  The Hitler comparison, really?  Really?

Megan Fox: 3rd Picture in Her Sweaty Boobs Series

Sweaty Megan Fox, it was nice seeing you on the big screen, good luck with the career now that you’ve made it very public that you’re both hard to work with and a train wreck off set.  What a wonderful combination for a long career in Hollywood (sarcasm).

Click for more Mega Fox sweating

Megan Fox is a Sweaty Cherry

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Mark Zuckerberg: Billion-Dollar Excessive Sweating in a Cold Room

You make stupid logos that make it seem like you and your over-hyped, ivy league wet-dream of a company want to take over the world in the nerdiest way possible.  Grow up and look around, you’re nobody without Facebook, and Facebook is just an idea you most likely stole from someone else.  All you did was made Friendster and MySpace better.  Do you really honestly think you’re the end of this social network evolution?  Wake-up and cash your chips you sweaty nerd-sociopath.

The Cult of Facebook: Sweaty Evil

Oh my god, it’s freezing in here and you’re profusely sweating like you’ve just lost a billion dollars… You just did, because Facebook isn’t really worth 15 billion, only morons would think that, and now that you’ve blown this interview, you’ve really lost value for Facebook.

Here’s a reaction from an attendee from the tech conference that Mark Zuckerberg was being interviewed at:

5:08 pm: My God, Zuckerberg is literally dissolving in a lake of his own sweat. He is visibly flushed, and you can see the beads of sweat rolling down his face. Could this be his Nixon moment?

Mark Zuckerberg Profusely Sweating Through His Pivacy Settings

So what actually went down?  Mark got interviewed, starts sweating his nerd nuts off and the interviewer Kara notes this and suggests the awkward Mark Zuckerberg to take off the lame hoodie he’s wearing, asking:

“You all right? We’re not even yelling at you…yet.”

Mark Zuckerberg refuses to take off the ugly hoodie. I never take it off, he says. Then he wipes the excessive sweat from his brow, looks at the resulting sweat stain on his arm, and then says “whoa,” relents and takes it off.

So in the interview with the Wall Street Journal’s Kara Swisher and Walt Mossberg, Mark Zuckerberg insisted on keeping his lame dark grey hoodie until his strange profuse sweating, (the room was chilly cold) forced the Facebook CEO to take it off.   Creepy eyes (Mark Zuckerberg) then joked about Walt Mossberg’s privacy questions by threatening awkwardly that he does better in internal Facebook meetings because, “I get to wear my hoodie there.”  That’s a like a lame douche bag saying on a date:

“I do better when I’m home masturbating.”

We smell sweaty douche bag, in like the biggest way.  It’s so obvious that Facebook changes it’s privacy settings so much so that all of our information can be stolen and sold, otherwise why are these settings automatically set to less private instead of more private?  And why does he talk like a robot and move his head around as if he’s some sort of animatronic doll?  Creepy dude is creepy.

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Sweaty Gerard Butler in the Greek Exploitation Film 300

Sweaty Faced Gerard Butler at ComicCon

You can literally hit it big in Hollywood with one movie where the special effects are really the star, follow that movie (300) by making all the wrong choices, and still be rich.  God bless America.  It really makes you excessively sweaty just thinking about it.Look at this gloating bastard, just look at that sweaty face…

Gerard Butler, you’re about as memorable as a zit in sixth grade, really, what is your thing?  Who are you?  Why are you famous?  Just go away already, you’ve failed.

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Sweaty Joe Jonas Magazine All Wet for the Magazines

Sweaty teen exploitation…  There are so many pics of Joe Jonas excessive sweating, we were giddy with excitement, giggling like drunk teenage girls backstage at a Jonas Brothers concert.

There’s nothing more lame than religious music made for preteen and early teen girls full of sexual innuendo, except, of course the Jonas Brothers music…  Why we gotta hate on the Jonas Brothers?  Because they’re a bunch of neanderthal hypocrites who take advantage of people’s faith to sell really, really bad music.

We won’t get into it, because South Park (Souther Park episode “The Ring“) did a much better job of making fun of the Jonas Brothers than we ever could.  All we have to say is that we can’t wait for these sweaty future douche bags to be True Hollywood Stories, because it’s all downhill from here… Where’s your god now?

Joe Jonas Sweating Like He's Got to Work a Day in His Life

Jonas Brothers with Joe Jonas Sweating Like a Teenager with Feelings

Jonas Brothers Sweating Future Douche Bags

Working up a sweat with your body guards huh? Are you sure you believe in heaven?

Joe Jonas Excessive Sweating in Pink with Body Guards

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