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How do you say?  Excessive sweating explosion? No?

Celebrity Sweating loves that this ten kilo-ton sweating bomb, which is obviously more powerful that what we thought was humanly possible, is also wearing a gold chain topped by the thug haircut.  Really good look there Walter Pandiani.  Poor Walter, you can’t be to hard on a guy named Walter…

Soccer, who understands it.  Hardly anything ever happens and these overpaid playboys cheat and act their way into winning games all the time.  Sweaty dude is sweaty.

By the way, we’re back.  Sorry for the hiatus, we were working on our gangster rap careers. Okay, fine, it was interpretive dance, and it made us feel whole inside.  You shut that filthy mouth of yours!

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Eva Amurri Sweating in Red All Over the Red Carpet

And she’s sweating all over Hollywood, it’s the pits.

Susan Sarandon & Daughter Eva Amurri, it’s like Susan Sarandon got younger, taller and hotter all at once.

Eva Amurri, Not Just a Sweaty Susan Sarandon 2.0

We had to show a pic from the sweaty strip club scene from Californication, you know, for science.

Eva Amurri Californication

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Dina Lohan Sweating Parasite or Regular Hollywood Mom: You Decide

Does perspiring Dina Lohan pop out daughters just to be famous?  Or is there something even more sinister afoot? And is sweaty Dina Lohan the chicken or the egg?  And what came first, the plastic surgery or the meth?  I think someone scrambled our eggs and tossed our Prozac with our salad.  This is Zoomanity!

Let’s see what Anderson Cooper says about Living Lohan:

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Anderson Cooper:  One.  Dina Lohan:  Zero.  Your move sweaty Lohans!

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Sarah Jessica Parker and Her Excessive Sweating Armpit

Those of us at Celebrity Sweating that have a penis, think sweaty Sarah Jessica Parker sucks and that Sex and the City (the TV show and especially the movies) sucks on level that makes everything else that sucks suck less.  That’s a lot of sweaty sucking.

If there was a term for the philosophy of Sex and the City, it could be labeled as anorexic feminism.  That is, feminism so vapid, commercial and lacking in constructive ideas, that it starves the life out of what being a modern woman is about, that is, it is destructive and basically poisonous to the collective psychology of women.

We didn’t even take Women Studies 101 in college and we can see this plain as day.  Sarah Jessica Parker knows that what she produces is horrible, you can just tell with all of her excessive sweating.

In the Sex and the City world, women are culturally insensitive shallow hogs that are concerned with the most base, and mindless desires while hoarding expensive designer clothes, shoes and accessories without ever understanding the culture and art that goes into those things.  Women who where the brand for the brand.  We could go on and on.  It’s retarded, seriously. Like the picture below.

Why the Sweaty Long Face? (Still Not Sexy)

Retarded like this quote from sweaty Sarah Jessica Parker about her new fragrance coming out soon:

“I’m working on a new genderless fragrance that’s not out yet,” says Parker. “I can’t even tell you what it’s called. It has taken me three years to decide on the scent because I really like B.O. and I think it’s sexy. I wanted to figure out a way to make it palatable to everybody. I was like, ‘How do you get B.O. in a bottle and make an atomiser of it?’”

Retarded.

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JWoww is a Picture of Silicone in a Sea of Excessive Sweat

We really don’t understand Jersey Shore, because we deal with douche bags every day, driving on the Los Angeles freeway.  Why would we want to watch sweaty douche bags when we come home to relax?

Watching idiots being idiots has never been that charming to us, but it seems to have transfixed the rest of the world.  Why?  Oh why?  It really makes us excessively sweaty in frustration.

The same people we avoided in High School are seemingly all the rage now as sweaty skanky reality stars are everywhere in our everything.

From skanky housewives to skanky Snooki’s, fame has never been so low.Proof of skank, the MySpace from above bikini shot.  The prosecution rests.

JWoww in Her Skanky MySpace Bikini Shot

We really wished Idiocracy was a better movie because it really is a window into our sweat-filled skanked future.

JWoww Sweaty Workout

Jersey Shore, the kind of show where fashion houses send their competitor’s products as gifts to the stars (Unbranding) in hopes that they wear and embarass these companies…  True Hollywood Story.

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Zac Efron Excessive Sweating for Fashion's Sake

Some people are just too lucky, and in this case, it’s okay, because all in all, Zac Efron is one of the good guys in Hollywood.

Zac Efron Sweating the Gym Parking Lot

Excessive sweating dude gives good face, even good sweaty face.  We give  up, dude’s just too beautiful to make fun of, and what could you say?

You can see Mr. Zac Efron in a film adaption of Full Metal Panic called Panic and the live-action adaption of Johny Quest.

These big budget movies could settle sweaty Zac Efron firmly as a Hollywood leading man, depending upon their box office success of course.

Zac Efron's Sweaty Pretty Face

Even a gross sweaty close-up doesn’t ruin this man’s face.

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Katie Price Sweating Out in Nature

So little talent, such big boobs, so much sweating, it’s the rise of civilization, we’ve come so far…

People these days are just famous for being awful, just downright awful (Heidi Montag for example), check out this one time sweaty celebrity couple from across the pond, Katie Price and who cares (some dude, looks like every other dude you’ll find at an urban club).

It’s depressing…  People talk about this reality star and that reality star, and we have no idea why these people are famous and even who they are…  Celebrity has become so watered down, we’re whining about the fact that it doesn’t mean anything any more and that in itself is ridiculous as well.

She’s sweating a lot, and that’s all we have to say, because we have no idea why she’s anybody worth talking about.  Kill us now.

Katie Price (Jordan) and Sweaty Dude of a Husband

Katie Price is currently married to Alex Reid (MMA fighter) What exactly is Jordan’s appeal besides the obvious?  We have no idea…  We will never know.

A Celebrity Couple that Stretches Together Stays Sweaty Together

More Katie Price sweating:

Plastic Boobs Galore, Jordan, Has a Some Excess Sweating Problems

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Michelle Obama Sweating the Hula Hoops

Michelle Obama sweating over the BP’s gulf oil disaster?   About two wars in the Middle East? About the fact that the economy is probably going to get a lot worse (who isn’t sweating about that?)?

No.  Michelle Obama is excessively sweating doing some important hula hooping y’all!

Is the Barack Obama presidency the final nail in the coffin against the arguments that the presidency isn’t just a puppet show for more powerful interests?

It certainly seems so sometimes…

This current president, what’s his name, is probably one the coolest dudes ever, but it is seemingly the same story, different face so far.  Or the continuation of a bad script, started ten years ago.

All this political talk, all we have to say is that hula hoops make us happy, like instantly.

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License to Sweat: Pierce Brosnan Excessively Sweats Obscurity

If the current angry, muscular brute of a James Bond, played Daniel Craig, isn’t a reaction to Pierce Brosnan’s James Bond, then we’re some kind of perverted celebrity body fluid bloggers. Okay, bad analogy.

Sweaty Pierce Brosnan might have been the best looking James Bond, but he just wasn’t believable as the charming international thug, who villains can’t kill before discussing their plans for world domination.

His fight scenes were too slow, too dainty, too clean.  He just didn’t seem like he was breaking any kind of sweat on screen, but he seems to sweat a lot off screen.

Famke Janssen as Xenia, steals the movie from sweaty pits Bronson, in Goldeneye as you’ll see below in our favorite scene from the movie:

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Sweaty Pierce Brosnan, you weren’t bad as Bond, just not believable, but you were entertaining.

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Sweaty Joe Jonas Magazine All Wet for the Magazines

Sweaty teen exploitation…  There are so many pics of Joe Jonas excessive sweating, we were giddy with excitement, giggling like drunk teenage girls backstage at a Jonas Brothers concert.

There’s nothing more lame than religious music made for preteen and early teen girls full of sexual innuendo, except, of course the Jonas Brothers music…  Why we gotta hate on the Jonas Brothers?  Because they’re a bunch of neanderthal hypocrites who take advantage of people’s faith to sell really, really bad music.

We won’t get into it, because South Park (Souther Park episode “The Ring“) did a much better job of making fun of the Jonas Brothers than we ever could.  All we have to say is that we can’t wait for these sweaty future douche bags to be True Hollywood Stories, because it’s all downhill from here… Where’s your god now?

Joe Jonas Sweating Like He's Got to Work a Day in His Life

Jonas Brothers with Joe Jonas Sweating Like a Teenager with Feelings

Jonas Brothers Sweating Future Douche Bags

Working up a sweat with your body guards huh? Are you sure you believe in heaven?

Joe Jonas Excessive Sweating in Pink with Body Guards

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Kerry Katona Sweating Life as a Plus-Size

There’s so much about Kerry Katona that’s like a True Hollywood Story.  The sweaty British celebrity traveled from home to home, ending up in foster care here and there.  The chubby sweaty celebrity left school at age sixteen to become a lap dancer .

Kerry Katona Sweating with Champagne, So Very Posh

The lap dancing, led to her  joining a dance troupe that toured all of Europe.  Kerry attempted to become a glamour model in her teens and posed for nude photographs (we searched, they’re really easy to find).

Sweaty Kerry Katona and Kids

Back 1999, at 18, Kerry Katona became a celebrity as a founding member of all-female pop trio Atomic Kitten. What is she doing now? Getting of bankruptcy, sweating a lot, being a mom, and not much else…

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Steve Carell all Sweating on Purpose?

Hello funny-face McGee. We wonder if Steve Carell only makes that face when is armpits are drenched with sweating?  He’s got so many funny faces, it’s really hard to keep track.

Steve Carell is currently working on a remake of a Peter Sellers film The Bobo and we’re sweaty with anticipation.

Oh, just look at the guy, simply hilarious.  Some people are just funny, and there’s no way around it.

You can see sweaty Steve Carell in his new action comedy, Date Night where he stars with that Sara Palin impersonator (Tina Fey)!

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Steve Carell, How Can you Not Laugh at this Guy?

Looks mildly entertaining… Sort of like a really long Saturday Night Live sketch routine.  Steve Carell is happiness.

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Sheryl Crow Cougar Sweat Leakage

Does anyone remember this sweaty lady?  Sheryl Crow’s music has been like her sex appeal, barely above memorable, and that’s okay, because girlfriend’s done fine by her.  Serious.  She a rich lady.

Yeah, we know, that’s not a whole lot of sweating, but we just wanted to dish about sweaty Sheryl Crow, because damn it, she’s famous enough and we’re bored enough.  

What’s really fascinating is that we don’t know anyone who listens to the former sorority girl, Sheryl Crow, but yet, she’s got like some sort of mega career.  Perplexing.  Maybe we’re not the core demographic…  But what is this demographic?

Sheryl Crow's Sweaty Old-Lady Armpits

The above sweaty lady is 48-years old…  Sheryl Crow is a long rose.

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Amy Winehouse No Sweat but Alien Armpits

What is that thing?  Is it sentient?

Is it a drug stash?  Amy Winehouse who’s infamous for her off-stage pursuits, and famous for her on stage sweaty performances, is just great celebrity fodder.  Check out this clip of her pulling something from her hair and snorting that “something.”

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Keep on reading for some uncivil Blake Fielder-Civil excessively sweaty making out…

Amy Winehouse Turned On by Sweaty Armpits

Blake Fielder-Civil sweaty armpits aren’t so civil…

Hey brah,  just making out with my popped collar pink shirt, so cool  with that sweat stain yo.

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Sweaty Jude Law as Hamlet at the Boradhurst Theatre, NYC

Back in December of 2009, a wee actor named Jude Law was doing Hamlet on Broadway, while his movie Sherlock Holmes was to debut a month or so later and he was set to have another child. Both were not huge successes, but successes nonetheless and Jude just met latter mentioned child recently… Dude is busy.

Minimal Hamlet, no distractions, just acting and ego!

Excessively Sweaty Jude Law Measures His Ego

The critics were favorable of Jude Law’s sweaty, sparse Hamlet and we have to admit, it was rather tense and entertaining, and for Sherlock Holmes? Well, we just wished Sherlock was a bit smarter.

More Jude Law excessive sweating below:

Excessive Sweating Criminal: Jude Law

Looking a Little “Closer” at Sweaty Jude Law.

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Mariah Carey Sweating Her Slow Fade Into Obscurity

Where have all the Cinderella’s gone?  Cinderella’s story ended early (you never got to find out what happened after the Prince marries Cinderella), and if they made sequels, the story would probably end up like mimicking Mariah Carey’s life.  For realz dawg.  Sweat life.  Sweat life.

What really is sweaty Mariah Carey’s appeal?  Sure, great voice, and used to be a serious hottie who made men sweat everywhere, but that was like a decade ago.

Now Mariah Carey is a recently married sweaty cougar who also happens to be the 6th richest woman in entertainment.

Classy Mariah Carey, No Sweat Out in the Wild

Here’s a Mariah Carey video, circa 2008.  It says everything that needs to be said about how somebody comes from being an inspirational story, bring oneself up from basically nothing, to a tasteless, vapid, sweaty has-been…

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Can you say lame?  Really?  Are nerdy white guys really dreaming about Mariah Carey (she was 38 when this video was shot)?  Really?

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Teri Hatcher Sweat Stained Cougar

Sweaty cougar roar!

Former NFL cheerleader, and currently a desperate housewife, a role suited for sweaty Teri Hatcher, as art copies real life, is found excessive sweating her way out of the sexy-face.  If you’re going to make a sexy-face, make sure your fluids, especially your sweat, are contained, just say’n.

We’re not haters, actually, sometimes we are, but we love sweaty Teri Hatcher for the most part.  How can you hate someone who’s been a Bond girl and Superman’s girlfriend?

Perspiring Teri Hatcher is one of the highest paid TV actresses in the United States, she reportedly mints $285,000 per episode (might be more now) of Desperate Housewives.

Teri Hatcher Marathon Sweating

Not the best running outfit to be sweating in Teri Hatcher, nothing quite matches or works together (your stylist on vacation here?)…

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Scarlett Johansson Sweating the Press

“I would like to say among celebrities, their needs to be some sort of antiperspirant relief fund”

We couldn’t agree more Mrs. Reynolds (Scarlett Johansson married to actor Ryan Reynolds)…

When making the critically acclaimed movie, Match Point, writer and director Woody Allen said of sweaty Scarlett Johansson that she’s “sexually overwhelming.”  Woody Allen continues by stating it was:

“Very hard to be extra witty around a sexually overwhelming, beautiful young woman who is wittier than you are.”

Scarlett Johansson So Lovely With No Sweating

You know what we love about sweaty Scarlett Johansson?  We love that she dislikes it when celebrities thank God or Jesus in award acceptance speeches.  Yes, that’s a huge pet peeve of ours too…  God really cares if you win that football game or get that Golden Globe (sarcasm).

More Scarlett Johansson sweating below:

Spying a Sweat Stain on Sexy Scarlett Johanson

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Alec Baldwin Excessive Sweating Enough for All Baldwins

“Hey Buddy, see this water bottle?  Yeah, in two seconds it’s gonna be on my shirt.  How do you like those apples?”

Watch the pure spectacle and art that is a younger, less sweaty, Alec Baldwin kicking ass and taking names in Glengarry Glen Ross:

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Alec Baldwin talking about comedy, Jerry Seinfeld, Tracy Morgan and Kim Jong-il all at once!  Hilarious…

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Here, below are some more Alec Baldwin excessive sweating events, enjoy:

Alec Baldwin’s Extreme Sweat at of All Things, A Billy Joel Concert

Sweating and Swearing, Alec Baldwin Smiles, Hiding the Ferocious Terror Within

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Excessive Sweating Hilary Swank, On a Casting for the Next Terminator?

“Fierce” isn’t quite the the right word, attractively menacing?  Is she looking for John Conner?

Sweaty Hilary Swank has made some bad movies (The Next Karate Kid, Emelia Earhart, etc.) and some amazing ones (Boys Don’t Cry, Million Dollar Baby, etc.)…  And she’s still going strong, as the methodic actor, sweaty Hilary Swank, is set to make a new version of Intimate Strangers.  The  ”actor, not a celebrity” (quote by Hilary Swank), is also currently set up to play the lead role and producer for a film based on John Marks novel Fangland, reportedly going to be directed by John Carpenter.  Sounds like a scary sweat-fest!

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Ashton Kutcher Jungle Excessive Sweating

Ashton Kutcher isn’t just the sweaty victim of a cougar mauling, he’s also starring in the new movie, Valentine’s Day.  The one time male model, who has a last name that sounds like female genitalia (yeah, a lady’s man so to speak), plays a florist who’s going to propose to Jessica Alba’s character (yes, she still gets roles because she’s amazingly hot).

Ashton Kutcher Sweating with Cougar in Hot Pursuit

Watch out sweaty Ashton Kutcher!  There’s something desperate, older, botoxed ,clamoring for attention right behind  you!  And it could totally eclipse everything you’ve ever done in your career!

We do have a soft spot for you Ashton Kutcher, Mr. Demi Moore, there’s nothing to hate on.

So good luck to you, sweaty cougar slayer you.  Tell the wife, Demi Moore, to stop Photoshopping her magazine covers yo.

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