Excessive sweating for excessive people: Celebrity Sweating » Cartoon Sweating

Joe Jonas Premarital Excessive Sweating

Excessive Sweating — Sat, 29 May 2010 02:05:41 +0000

Sweaty Joe Jonas Magazine All Wet for the Magazines

Sweaty teen exploitation… There are so many pics of Joe Jonas excessive sweating, we were giddy with excitement, giggling like drunk teenage girls backstage at a Jonas Brothers concert.

There’s nothing more lame than religious music made for preteen and early teen girls full of sexual innuendo, except, of course the Jonas Brothers music… Why we gotta hate on the Jonas Brothers? Because they’re a bunch of neanderthal hypocrites who take advantage of people’s faith to sell really, really bad music.

We won’t get into it, because South Park (Souther Park episode “The Ring“) did a much better job of making fun of the Jonas Brothers than we ever could. All we have to say is that we can’t wait for these sweaty future douche bags to be True Hollywood Stories, because it’s all downhill from here… Where’s your god now?

Joe Jonas Sweating Like He's Got to Work a Day in His Life

Jonas Brothers with Joe Jonas Sweating Like a Teenager with Feelings

Jonas Brothers Sweating Future Douche Bags

Working up a sweat with your body guards huh? Are you sure you believe in heaven?

Joe Jonas Excessive Sweating in Pink with Body Guards

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Disney’s Sweaty Flash in the Pan: Demi Lovato

Excessive Sweating — Fri, 21 May 2010 13:38:53 +0000

Demi Lovato Sweating the Hits

Capitalism, it never ends, except when it does (Louisiana? Anyone?).

So there’s always more crappy products to buy and more stupid teenage Disney leftovers to sell.

Enter sweaty Demi Lovato. Someone get the new model out, this copy is already expired. A shiny, pampered, useless, excessive sweating mess of mediocrity singing meaningless lyrics into a placated zombified consuming mass.

Not So Sweaty Here, Demi Lovato: Consume by 2009

Why do you exist? Seriously? Why do you exist? You neither move music forward or backwards. You’re the Ground Hog Day of culture, made for the uninformed, tasteless, consuming masses to throw out your CD’s when they know better…

Your a tourist trap for retarded tourists. Okay, we’re gonna stop, we’re in a sweaty bad mood.

Here, have a pretty picture, it made us feel a little better after listening to her crime-against-humanity music:

I’m special! I’m so special! Look at me!

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Godfather of Sweating: Hello from Richard Simmons

Excessive Sweating — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 12:03:35 +0000

King of Sweating: Richard Simmons

Merry Christmas you sweating news freaks! We love you and hope you have the best holiday season ever…

Milton Teagle Simmons, otherwise known as permanently excessively sweaty Richard Simmons, is some kind of happy monster of necessity. If sweaty Richard Simmons didn’t exist, there would need to be some sort of drug we can all take that gives us the Richard Simmons positive perspiration experience.

Richard Simmons might be the gayest active element in the universe, but he could easily power the Death Star with his all persuasive healthy-happiness energy.

It’s amazing that he’s been so popular for the last thirty or so years. It just goes to show you can’t stop a singularly unique personality.

Just harness the power of sweaty Richard Simmons and you’ll be a millionaire! Or a Richard Simmons replacement.

What’s really incredible about sweating star Richard Simmons is that for all his aerobic exercising, he really doesn’t look the part of Mr. Fitness. He’s not particularly skinny or muscular.

We’re sure he’s fit on the inside however and we absolutely adore Richard Simmons in all of his flaming Jewish glory. What’s not to love about the guy who blows up the clip below?

Click here to view the embedded video.

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Excessive Sweating Mess has New Mascot in George W Bush

Excessive Sweating — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 12:04:45 +0000

Excessive sweating George W Bush pulls a Benny Hill at the 2008 Beijing Olympics and creeps out the female athletes, sweat stains his clothes and almost kills himself in his drunken, sweaty stupor in the stands. Go America! For two elections you were fooled by swiftboats, phony economics and good ol’ boy posturing and let a rich boy loser who’s failed at absolutely everything lead the country for 8 long, retarded years. Look on at what the presidency has become, a drunken mess that’s destroyed our economy, killed hundreds of thousands of people and tarnished the United States reputation around the world. A drunken clown cowboy presidency sweating away in China… Checking out the babes, as people lose their homes around the country.

Excessive Sweating Armpits Stain George W Bush at the Olympics

Hey baby, y’ know, I’m the president, that’s right. Yeah, I forgot to wear the old antiperspirant today, whatta y’now? Y’know, if you donna cooperate, I can send your whole family to Gitmo.

Sweaty Old Man Pervert George W Bush

Excessive Sweating George W Bush is the worst president in the history of the United States and yet, he just keeps getting worse… How does one sleep at night knowing that you’ve basically destroyed a whole country, displaced millions of people, and killed hundreds of thousands just for some ridiculously unfair oil contracts for your oil buddies and friends in the war profiteering business.

It gives us all hyperhidrosis just thinking about the damn rotten moron (George W Bush that is). It also makes us cringe that our athletes had to entertain this sweaty drunken oaf while they competed for gold. They train for years and then have to deal with bumbling perspiring idiot extraordinaire during one the most important times of their lives…

Getting sweaty drunk in front of your wife and daughter as the President of the United States while the whole world watches. Priceless. For everything else, there’s Dick Cheney.

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Homer Simpson has Human Case of the Stress Sweating

Excessive Sweating — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 13:00:09 +0000

The Simpsons Movie keeps on breaking records during one very sweaty box office summer. It opened with a $70 million domestic weekend, the strongest ever for an animated movie. Currently number 2 at the box office with $128 million domestic total after two weeks, The Simpsons Movie keeps kicking sweaty summer ass. During the pre-release promotional blitz, Homer Simpson did an intro for Jay Leno’sThe Tonight Show and quite possibly the dumbest cartoon character ever created, broke out in a stressed induced excessive sweating frenzie. It’s our first cataloged cartoon sweating instance and it’s been a slow week in Celebrity Sweating…

Yeah, so sweaty Homer’s no Conan O’Brien, but we’d say he’s much funnier than the world’s largest chin, Jay Leno, even with bad material. Homer bombs with his opening act, sweats as his arms go numb and then gets escorted out by cartoon Jay Leno security. Jay Leno closes the opening as he asks himself “Why am I sweat’n like this?” Seems to be a current Simpson’s theme as Lisa, in the last part of The Simpsons Movie gets sweaty palms when holding hands with her new Irish crush (sounds like a great soft drink, no? Clean and refreshing, unless you’re a Protestant). If you haven’t seen the movie, go see it, it’s funnier than a vagina clown car.

The above really doesn’t have much to do with anything, it has a little to do with sweating, as giving birth is a sport in this woman’s case, however, we just thought our readers would appreciate no sweat funny tangents every now and then. You’re very welcome.

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