Let's Do It; The Tiger Woods Statue Says, We Couldn't Agree More

Sweaty, Wet Elin Nordegren, Back in the Modeling Days

Blonde with ambition, Elin Nordegren, God bless her gold-digging, beautiful soul, is escalating the divorce settlement to a jaw-dropping 750 million. That’s 25 million for every lady that Tiger Woods had cheated on her with (that’s if the mistress count is 30, who knows what the actual mistress count is).

Worth 750 million?  Elin, you had to have known, early on…  Really?

Sweaty, Tiger Woods, perhaps the most boring man on the planet, loves the ladies, some say over 120 of mistresses…  We had the conservative estimate of 30…  In any case, the man who looks like a stoned catfish, is really good at hitting that ball and that’s worth the world to some, and that’s the really sad part of all of this…

For more on Tiger Woods, and his sweating, click below:

Sweaty Traveling Salesman Tiger Woods Loses His Balls

Why is This Man Sweating? The Tiger is Out of The Woods!

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Alizee Paradis Sexy Tennis Sweat

What’s up with Flash websites anyways?  Why are they still around?  Flash websites are all kinds of lame and Alizee Paradis is all kinds of super hot!  We love the tennis outfit honey, where’s all the sweating?

Oh my god!  It’s like Halloween, let’s get ally super slut!  We love Halloween or girls dress like sluts day in other words.  And we’re using the word slut kindly here!

Alizee Paradis Sexy Glitter and Lingerie Sweat

Alizee Paradis was born in Quebec City on June 19th 1987 with an impossibly sexy name.  At the age of 10 she started playing tennis and was ranked as high as 7th in Canada through her career.  Back in 2004 she was found by Marshall University and given a full scholarship, howver, ending her college career at the University of Cincinnati.  Sweaty Alizee wasn’t just any regular college athlete either, she was a superb tennis player.

Alizee Paradis has dropped the tennis racket and sports sweating, switching her focus to become a model.  Alizee walked the runways of Nolcha Fashion Week held in NYC and Alberta Fashion Week in Calgary, Canada.  Alizee Paradis is also the new face of 442 McAdam.

Alizze Paradis No Sweat Modeling

All of this talent is making us super sweaty… We’re sure that you understand.

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Sweaty Leryn Franco is some kind of dimensional traveler from a parallel universe where fierce, perspiration-wet and extraordinarily beautiful amazon women roam in bikinis giggling. This parallel universe, some archeologists call it Paraguay, which translated from the local tribal dialect means “spear throwing magical unicorns,” has sent a very special ambassador to the 2008 Beijing Olympics, Leryn Franco.

This sweating 26-year-old Paraguayan javelin thrower, Leryn Franco, honestly might be the most attractive phenomenon at this year’s Olympics (and there are plenty of sweaty beauties this year). The Paraguayan is simply stunning as her look goes beyond beautiful and into the realm of cathartically divine.

Okay, we know, enough with the Olympic posts, but you see, there are so many wonderful and inspiring Olympic personal stories that we really don’t care about, so we’ll go on tell you about all the sweating and the beauty, and if there’s lots of sweating and lots of beauty together, well, that’s a sure-fire winner for Celebrity Sweating…

Leryn Franco Sweaty Wet

Sweaty Leryn Franco About to Spear all of Our Hearts

Sexy and sweaty Paraguayan javelin thrower Leryn Franco may have came in at 51st overall in a field of, well, only 52 competitors at the Beijing Games, but the memory of her Olympic presence will not soon be forgotten, especially among the male of our species…

Sweaty Franco is a a part-time model and bikini contestant, wowed Beijing audiences around the world with her exotic good looks despite her slightly disappointing performance in the javelin throw (we mean, how can you really be disappointed in anything this sweating angel does?). Throw that javelin right at our sweating chests Leryn, we can’t breathe around you anyways, and our deaths won’t be in vain…

Leryn Franco No Sweat Modeling

On August 19th, in Beijing, beautiful Leryn Franco finished with a performance that was 12 meters short of her personal best of 55.38 meters.

Previously, the Paraguayan javelin stunner competed at the 2004 Athens Olympics, where she placed 42nd overall. Perhaps the modeling is dulling her competitive edge, but we’re not complaining…

However, perspriration-glistening Leryn isn’t disappearing from famedom quite yet, even if her sweaty Olympic medal dreams are over. Leryn’s sexy and sweaty nude photos in her 2007 calendar will likely bring her more exposure for the modeling career in the future. The fame she has created from the Beijing Olympics has brought her more fans who all seemingly have a javelin of sorts stuck into their hearts…

Leryn Franco No Sweat Nudity

(You’re welcome dear Celebrity Sweating reader)

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May-Treanor and Walsh Share a Sweaty and Golden Moment at the Beijing Olympics

Excessive Sweating Beach Brazilian Volleyball, Simply Wonderful

After hearing of said Olympic sweating orgy, a light bulb went off in our sweat-centered heads… Duh! Of course Olympians are having glorious and sweaty, aesthetically-friendly, youthful sex! It makes total sense brah. Think about it, toned, overly-worked-out, young athletes from all over the world, meeting each other and… and.. Talking politics? Playing chess? No! Having international wondrous, fantastic and extra sweaty champion sex! And SO much sex!

We know what you’re thinking, that we’re making this all up, shame on you. Celebrity Sweating would never let our readers down with fake sensationalist sweaty drivel, all of our sensationalist drivel is based on some sort of sweaty reality or other…

You see, we are indeed vindicated in this particular case, as we have backup, someone else has the same sinful and sweaty story as us with sweat-inducing delicious details… Read on dear Celebrity Sweating reader, read on.

Matthew Syed from the Times Online, has this to say about the sex, sweat and hormones petry dish that is the Olympic Village:

I am often asked if the Olympic village – the vast restaurant and housing conglomeration that hosts the world’s top athletes for the duration of the Games – is the sex-fest it is cracked up to be. My answer is always the same: too right it is. I played my first Games in Barcelona in 1992 and got laid more often in those two and a half weeks than in the rest of my life up to that point. That is to say twice, which may not sound a lot, but for a 21-year-old undergraduate with crooked teeth, it was a minor miracle.

Barcelona was, for many of us Olympic virgins, as much about sex as it was about sport. There were the gorgeous hostesses – there to assist the athletes – in their bright yellow shirts and black skirts; there were the indigenous lovelies who came to watch the competitions. And then there were the female athletes – literally thousands of them – strutting, shimmying, sashaying and jogging around the village, clad in Lycra and exposing yard upon yard of shiny, toned, rippling and unimaginably exotic flesh. Women from all the countries of the world: muscular, virile, athletic and oozing oestrogen. I spent so much time in a state of lust that I could have passed out. Indeed, for all I knew I did pass out – in a place like that how was one to tell the difference between dreamland and reality?

But Matthew Syed goes on to say it wasn’t just the dudes who were all sweaty and horny, but also the the extra fit, perspiring and toned ladies…

It was not just the guys. The women, too, seemed in thrall to their hormones, throwing around daring glances and dynamite smiles like confetti. No meal or coffee break was complete without a breathless conversation with a lithe long jumper from Cuba or an Amazonian badminton player from Sweden, the mutual longing so evident it was almost comical. It was an effort of will to keep everything in check until competition had finished. But, once we were eliminated from our respective competitions, we lunged at each other like suicidal fencers. There may have been a fair amount of gay sex going on, too – but given the notorious homophobia in sport it was rather more covert.

The article really nails all the sweaty sex details down and continues to say that it’s not just the Olympics at Barcelona that was practically an orgy, but every sweaty Olympics he’s competed in or heard about from other athletes… And what’s particularly interesting is while sweaty guys who score gold may be even more attractive to the ladies, ladies who score gold aren’t necessarily more attractive to male Olympians (this fact reflects society’s values as a whole). There are many other interesting facts in the article (the whole sex and the traveling salesman thing is explained) and we definitely recommend you read the whole thing…

Yao Ming and Lauren Jackson No Sweat Sincere Hug

To close out, pictures of two sweaty basketball Giants hugging twice, very sincerely…

Yao Ming and Sexy Lauren Jackson No Sweat Closing Ceremony Hug Hug Number Two

We don’t know why Yao Ming and Lauren Jackson hugging is so incredibly cute? It’s ridiculous… Makes us sweat.

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Sweating Lauren Jackson at Her Day Job and on the Topless Beach

So much woman, so little time in life, makes us sweaty all over in a biblical sort of way. Continue reading for some nude but not so sweaty pics…

Lauren Jackson and Yao Ming Sweaty Together

It takes one of China’s largest men to make Lauren Jackson look up to someone. And we here at Celebrity Sweating definitely look up to her, in total sweaty awe (we didn’t know they came in this size!).

Sports sweating Lauren Jackson is the center fro the Australian National team at the recently past and now historic Beijing Olympics. The Australian team is also known as The Opals, while her pro-team where she plays center is the WNBA Seattle Storm.  The infinitely leggy blonde has appeared in Sports Illustrated many sweaty times and obviously has posed naked, as shown above…

Lauren Jackson also looks amazing in a wonderfully tight one piece Australian basketball outfit exquisitely. Ming, who stands seven feet 6 inches tall, overcame a foot injury that kept him out the end of the NBA season to play for his Chinese national team in the recent Olympics.  Yao Ming’s team didn’t medal in China’s Olympics, but we have a feeling he scored some sweaty after-hours baskets with miss Blonde Forever Legs…

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Katharina Scholz Nude Athlete No Sweat for Playboy

Ah, you Germans are so dry, your country needs to add a little salty excessive sweating flavor to these parched photos…

In what seems to be an Olympics of opportunistic nudity, broken records and contrastingly, strict authoritarianism, four German athletes have joined the sweaty Olympic amateur porn bandwagon in Beijing.

We really wish all four of these German broads appeared together in their naked no sweating Playboy spreads. Maybe the world’s not ready for any sort of group German dominance, even if it’s in the photo form.

Field hockey player Katharina Scholz (nipple censored above), was reported as saying that the foxy germans’ sweaty schedules did not allow them the possibility to pose at the same time. Scholz has this to say about the German victory over the Americans in field hockey (yeah, we don’t know what that is either…).

“I think now I have to play hockey and later talk about things like [Playboy]. I think it’s a good opportunity but it’s not important for me for now…

“The most important thing for me is playing hockey. And because I am playing hockey, I got the opportunity to go on Playboy. Otherwise I wouldn’t. I have no plans on a career in modelling.”

The September issue of Playboy’s German edition will feature four covers, each featuring one of the following photos:

Germans aren’t so evil, see!

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Olympians have been in advertising for as long as any of us at Celebrity Sweating can remember. All that training has to payoff in some way (besides the excessively sweaty Olympic orgies that happen every two years). Yes, but get your mind off of that fantastically sweaty and aesthetically appealing image for now, we’ll get to that in another Celebrity Sweating post… So athlete whoring, it’s happened in the past, and it will happen in the future, what’s a perfectly toned sweaty and overly worked-out body to do? Endorse! Of course…

Rebecca Romero No Sweating Naked Cycling

In this case, the sweaty Olympians endorse overly priced salty sugar water, otherwise known as Powerade.

Powerade is the official drink of the Beijing Olympics, whatever that means. We have to wonder if any of this official this and sponsor that works? Like does it taste good? Is it good for you? What kind of moron would by something because it’s the official drink of whatever? Anyways, more nude Olympians please…

In other cases, like Amanda Beard, she endorses not wearing fur, because, you know, that’s like the most important cause in the world right now (sarcasm).

Amanda Beard Would Rather Not Sweat in Fur

Feel like working up a sweat clubbing a baby seal? Yeah, we do too. Just don’t know why though… Anyways, in the old Greek days of the Olympics, the whole event was done in the nude. Things were so much cooler back then, no restrictions, no official this or sponsor that, just public homosexuality, brutal war and slavery. The first one, we certainly can live, the second one, we’re currently going through that but in a removed sense and the third one, well, some would say sweatshops is modern day slavery. So what’s changed?

Chin up camper, more sweaty nude Olympians!

Not So Sweaty Phillips Idowu Bending Over in Space for Powerade

Phillips Idowu is Not Sweaty Dennis Rodman

Gregor Tait Does a Reverse Dolphin for Powerade

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Daniela Hantuchova Excessive Sweating for Adult Audiences Everywhere

Daniela Hantuchova, oh how you’ve grown up! And you look so happy to see all of us! We’re happy to see you and your two friends! Okay, we’ll stop the sweaty perving, we’re starting to feel like Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC is going to pop into the office at any moment now. We swear, she’s old enough, she plays really sweaty pro tennis for Christ’s sake!

Daniela Hantuchova No Sweat Looking Like a Doll

Oh, so many sexy perspiring wet tennis stars, so little time! Daniela Hantuchova, don’t worry about the explosive sweating, we don’t think anyone really minds, in fact, we’re all big fans, so keep on getting your wet on. Oh somebody stop us before we kill again! (Not literally you illiterate psychos, metaphorically, yeesh!)

For more sweaty Daniela Hantuchova action, check out our other posts:

Daniela Hantuchova Sweating at Celebrity Sweating.

And more sweat-inducing dry Daniela Hantuchova pics just for you, dear reader because we love you, with or without sweating. We really do.

Daniela Hantuchova No Sweat Cute as Can Be

Daniela Hantuchova No Sweat Rated PG-13

Oh the sweaty Zumanity!

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Sweaty, Super Gay French Rugby Ad Mass Make-Out Close-Up

A that’s a lot of muscles to love, or a lot of sweaty love muscles. The homoerotic ads are launched by France’s Board of Tourism to supposedly lure the British across the channel to the Rugby World Cup.

The supposedly humorous, dirty and really sweaty ads also feature prominent rugby players completely naked and super sweaty in the locker room with only a small towel to cover the their plumbing. Playgirl has nothing on these perspiration drenched locker room glamour shots…

Advertising strategy can be really bizarre. The bet is that it’s not going to alienate the core audience while expanding the overall audience? Well, we hope it’s a positive sign of the general public’s acceptance of homosexuality… Gay rugby, what’s next? Gay professional wrestling, oh wait, it’s already gay.

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Hot, sweaty and only has higher places to go, Melanie Adams is perfection, with our without her hands on the pole. The stiffer and sweatier the pole, the higher you go. We can’t resist the sweaty pole vaulting jokes, somebody stop us before we kill again! Enjoy some more perspiration inducing pics of Melanie Adams. We did.

The following sweaty Melanie Adams context is from FanIQ:

While Miss Stokke has tried to shy away from any notoriety outside of sports, Melanie aspires to be Miss Universe. You’ve got to like a girl who sets the bar for herself really, really high. And you know what, it’s certainly attainable.

She’s just 20, has won two national under-age titles and is currently targeting the 2010 Commonwealth Games (tickets available!) with the hope of a 2012 London Olympics. Translation: good enough to post about her.

We’re simply in love and immensely sweaty. She makes us feel like we’re sweating prom all over again, but this time we don’t have to dish for the limousine, we’ll take a pole and some padding instead.

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Alas, she’s really good at the sweating, not so good with singles tennis, but rather good with the modeling and proud of it. Below is a pic of Anna in the early days of her perspiration career.

And a little Anna Kournikova sweaty mini-gallery to celebrate the always sweat-lubed straight-to-modeling tennis pro.

We never understand sweaty sports interviews and we really don’t understand perspiring online banter with fans. But Anna sounds so cute stating her disappointing comeback try here, poor thing, at least there’s modeling (if it wasn’t for tennis, we suspect she’d be a beauty school dropout). Ah, the sweaty end to it all…

A very sweaty end to a sweaty tennis career, we’ll miss the sweaty end very much…

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Feel like some lubed and sweaty soccer with eleven clones anyone? Everyone at the office sure does (yeah, there’s no such thing as NSFW – Not Safe For Work for the internet-illiterate, here at Celebrity Sweating headquarters international). The original, larger version of the above image for all of you with healthy hearts and well, questionable sweaty intentions is straight below…

This is all so very gratuitous and verging on sleazy internet porn, but it is Christmas, and it’s upscale sweating porn and we feel like giving. Celebrity Sweating just wants to get into the holiday spirit, and sweaty soccer babe-clones is right up our alley and into your field of dreams.

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Sweaty Serena Williams, one half of the Tennis Borg that is the Williams Sisters, seems to be slippling lately in her game as injuries and dissappointments seem to be mounting. Indeed, a far cry from the 2000 to 2002 years of Williams Sisters dominance. From Wikipedia:

In 2000, Serena won the doubles gold medal at the Sydney Olympics with her sister Venus.

Serena Williams finished 2001 in the top ten for the third consecutive year. She reached her first Grand Slam singles final in two years, losing to her older sister Venus at the U.S. Open 6-2, 6-4. Later that year, Serena won the WTA Tour Championships after saving eight match points in the semifinals against Jennifer Capriati.

In 2002, Serena won the French Open, Wimbledon, and the U.S. Open (where she wore her famous black catsuit) by defeating Venus in the finals of all three. She also reached the final of the WTA Tour Championships for the second time, where she lost to Kim Clijsters. She finished the year with a 56-5 record, eight singles titles, and the World No. 1 ranking. She also won the Wimbledon doubles title with Venus for the second time.

Serena Williams ruled tennis in the above time period, now she sweats celebrity events.

Yeah, she used to kick ass at tennis, fashion, not so much, sweating, yes, lots of sweating…

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These days David Beckham sweats more for photo shoots than from soccer. Currently, Mr. Beckham is on the bench again with a sprained medial collateral ligament in his knee and will be out 6 weeks.

Apparently, photographers think Beckham should be sweatier alone (notice above all the photo sweat) than just after sex (below, not much sweat), curious…

It seems like the Beckhams don’t like to get into a messy bout of sweaty sex, at least they don’t like being photographed looking like sweaty animals in heat (we personally, love that look). You’re welcome girls for the Beckham fluff post, we just didn’t want to get too one-sided with all the sexy excessive sweating female action.

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She wouldn’t make any noise during sex. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she’d be the loud screaming type. But instead, she just lay there like a dead frog. She even got angry if I started to moan, said it ‘ruined her concentration.’ It was so disillusioning that I went on Paxil for a month afterwards. Really, it was much more of a shock than when I found out there’s no such thing as the Easter Bunny.

Now that’s a #@cking quote. Maroon 5 might be lame, Adam Levine can’t even dance, but man, that’s a frick’n quote if there ever was one. We suspect with added pressure by the Maria Sharapova minions, the Maroon 5 people had this to say:

I represent Maroon 5 and wanted to let you know that the quote on your site [from the Russian newspaper] isn’t true. Adam never said this, and they only met once at Maria’s birthday party in 2004.

No sweat when you’ve got PR people. Publicists are the high paid maids of celebrity and public life sweeping the dirt (and perspiration) away with their calculated little statements. Personally, we think Adam said what he said, but who really knows? What we know for sure is that the statement by the publicist isn’t true just by the sheer number of articles on the two being seen having many a secret rendezvous. Also, Maria Sharapova hasn’t ever denied dating Mr. Moron 4.

Maria Sharapova as Gay-Dar?

It all sounds like after the fact damage control or whatever, that quote, however, is just precious. It makes us drop our jaw and break out in a delightful, gossipy sweat. If it’s true, Maria Sharapova is a giant 6 foot tall false advertisement for sweaty shrieking monkey sex.

Sometimes people just aren’t good at everything, and Maria’s really good at a lot of things, subtract one thing from the list?

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While making her opponents tremble with a shriek that would wake up Jimmy Hoffa, Maria Shrapova exudes enough extra perspiration for all Wimbledon.
Even while training, Maria pours out the sweat. Ah, the fountain of youth…

In today’s sweaty athletic world, it’s simply not enough to be good, if you’re good and well, good looking, you get the added bonus of being extremely rich by selling out. Just ask David Beckham. You don’t even have to be that good, it’s all right to be good enough to compete and attractive like sweaty Anna Kournikova, who also has many a fat endorsement. However, we love Maria Sharapova. Love the shrieking, the illegal sign gestures from her father and coach, her sweating problem and her lovely bikinis…

Sports Illustrated, never one to dally off the sports path to stop and smell the roses (sarcasm). However, we’d like some sweaty bikini pics, but that’s just us, we’re obsessive about celebrity perspiration.

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Allison Stokke is quite possibly a future Olympian, whose some kind of kickass athlete who’s broken many national pole vaulting records, while hardly breaking a sweat. We’d go into detail about the records, but frankly, we’re not interested in the vaulting. We’re into the lurid and sweaty back story. The below picture of a glowing, glistening and tastefully sweating Allison Stokke is what is flaming through the “internets.”

Here’s the interesting part that the so-called national media isn’t mentioning. In the top right of the first picture above, is Allison’s Daddy, Al Stokke. Mr. Stokke has a very colorful past defending some quite indefensible, unevolved slime. Here’s a blurb from feministing.com:

After we posted a link to the story about Alison Stokke, the high-school track athlete who has been unwillingly turned into an internet sex object, sharp-eyed reader Evan emailed with the observation that Stokke’s father is the same guy who earlier this year defended a cop who jerked off on a stripper during a routine traffic stop. “She got what she wanted,” Al Stokke said, of the stripper. “She’s an overtly sexual person.”

Mr. Stokke, how exactly do you define an “overtly sexual person?” And who’s qualified to perform that definition? Poor Allison, I’m sure there are about one hundred million males by all conservative estimates, who are up in a heavy sweat over defining your daughter as “an overtly sexual person.” It’s best not to bring work home, huh Mr. Stokke. Oh, and it gets worse, much worse. In a much publicized story (especially in California) about a certain very rich assistant sheriff’s son, Greg Haidl, who was a part of a videotaped gang-rape involving instruments of mass perversion. Yes, you read that right, they (Greg Haidl, Kyle Nachreiner and Keith Spann) videotaped the whole thing. From the
OC Weekly, Allison’s dad in his true reptilian form:

The defense niceties vanished immediately. Defense lawyer Al Stokke, who replaced lead trial attorney Joseph G. Cavallo, questioned any link between the rape and the victim’s claim of mental anguish. Stokke also mocked the girl’s physical injuries, finally conceding she was unconscious but then trying to use that against her. “There’s [no pain] that is felt,” he said, “because she was unconscious.”

Yes, you also read that right as well. Al Stokke is the Karl Rove of the legal world, no ethics, no rules, only win baby. We’re excessively sweating writing these words…In trials that involved paid-off jurors, private investigators, smear-campaigns and an unlimited amount of the worst kind of ugly, Al Stokke’s statements still stand out.

Unfortunately, Al Stokke is somebody’s daddy, Allison Stokke’s daddy. During the start of Allison Stokke’s internet fame, Daddy patrolled the message boards looking for stalker-ish behavior. “Overtly sexual” behavior possibly? The parents and Allison then started doing interviews both online and on TV about how all the fame is unwanted and could possibly endanger their media virgin of a sweaty daughter.

What’s odd about all of this is that daddy-Al-Stokke is most likely smart enough to know that if you really wanted all the attention to go away, you wouldn’t allow any interviews at all. You would simply let the sweaty internet perversion river run its course into carpal tunnel oblivion. However, if your move is to complain in interviews, king leads the pawns into thinking that the family doesn’t want any of the attention, when in fact Allison has a lucrative endorsement future ahead of her. The interviews expose her to national sponsors, keep her image wholesome and innocent which is more attractive to sponsors and lastly, shames those of us on the internets who think their hot, atheletic daughter is well, hot and atheletic, checkmate! Conspiracy theory say you? Well, for us it’s a very likely scenario, after all, Allison did ask her coach if he knew of any “reliable media consultants.” All of this irony is making even us all sweaty and nervous, what’s a blogger to do? Well, here are some more hot sweaty pics, enjoy…

For more on the above mentioned stories, click the following links:

OC Weekly Haidl Case Story Archive, scroll down

FeministSting Archive

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Glistening Anna Kournikova’s a much better C-List celebrity then she is a D-list tennis star with performance hyperhidrosis, but who’s complaining? We think she’s a fantastic reason to watch tennis. She’s a sweaty Maxim photo spread in motion. Notice exhibit B below, however, look away if you have a heart condition:

We figure now that Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild is in jail, we’d step up our own ‘sweaty girl wildness.’ We hope you don’t mind, we like to fill voids when they happen, it keeps us going.

(If you’re going to really, really sweat, we recommend wearing some darker clothing and um, some effective antiperspirant? You never know what kind of lenses those creepy paparazzi have when you’re at your sweatiest…)

Houston, we have a sweating problem. More Anna Kournikova sweating here…

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Psuedo tennis star, accidental celebrity Anna Kournikova was spotted recently after some sort of rigorous workout excessively sweating. The “talented” tennis underachiever can really let some fluids out. However, hot Russian heavy sweating is somewhat excused, she is an athlete, however underperforming she is in that arena (ah, but there’s a difference between ‘glowing’ and well, being all wet…)

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