Eva Amurri Sweating in Red All Over the Red Carpet

And she’s sweating all over Hollywood, it’s the pits.

Susan Sarandon & Daughter Eva Amurri, it’s like Susan Sarandon got younger, taller and hotter all at once.

Eva Amurri, Not Just a Sweaty Susan Sarandon 2.0

We had to show a pic from the sweaty strip club scene from Californication, you know, for science.

Eva Amurri Californication

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Dina Lohan Sweating Parasite or Regular Hollywood Mom: You Decide

Does perspiring Dina Lohan pop out daughters just to be famous?  Or is there something even more sinister afoot? And is sweaty Dina Lohan the chicken or the egg?  And what came first, the plastic surgery or the meth?  I think someone scrambled our eggs and tossed our Prozac with our salad.  This is Zoomanity!

Let’s see what Anderson Cooper says about Living Lohan:

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Anderson Cooper:  One.  Dina Lohan:  Zero.  Your move sweaty Lohans!

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Sweaty Joe Jonas Magazine All Wet for the Magazines

Sweaty teen exploitation…  There are so many pics of Joe Jonas excessive sweating, we were giddy with excitement, giggling like drunk teenage girls backstage at a Jonas Brothers concert.

There’s nothing more lame than religious music made for preteen and early teen girls full of sexual innuendo, except, of course the Jonas Brothers music…  Why we gotta hate on the Jonas Brothers?  Because they’re a bunch of neanderthal hypocrites who take advantage of people’s faith to sell really, really bad music.

We won’t get into it, because South Park (Souther Park episode “The Ring“) did a much better job of making fun of the Jonas Brothers than we ever could.  All we have to say is that we can’t wait for these sweaty future douche bags to be True Hollywood Stories, because it’s all downhill from here… Where’s your god now?

Joe Jonas Sweating Like He's Got to Work a Day in His Life

Jonas Brothers with Joe Jonas Sweating Like a Teenager with Feelings

Jonas Brothers Sweating Future Douche Bags

Working up a sweat with your body guards huh? Are you sure you believe in heaven?

Joe Jonas Excessive Sweating in Pink with Body Guards

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Excessive Sweating George Clooney with Sweaty Mustache

Oh sweaty George Clooney, your social activism is actually charming, instead of annoying (take note Bono, you tax-dodging hypocrite), because it seems like you really believe in what you’re saying, and that totally goes far man.  

George Clooney Sweating Some Basketball

Perspiring George Clooney lives with pigs. A 280-pound Vietnamese black-bristled pot-bellied pig, named Max slept luxuriously in George Clooney’s house for eighteen years until the pig’s death on December 1, 2006.  Yeah, we know, random, but just another reason to love George Clooney.
More George Clooney related excessive sweating below:

George Clooney Sweat-Flavored Tofu?

Excessive Sweating Armpits for Clooney Girlfriend, Lisa Snowdon

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Rihanna GQ Sweating

Rihanna’s incredible, sweaty body isn’t free y’all! In fact, Rihanna is in a bit of a legal bind with a former trainer who’s suing the Rihanna for not paying all of her bills.  

Cindy Percival, the trainer in question, filed her lawsuit against Rihanna in the Los Angeles Superior Court last week, claiming the sweaty popstar owes $26,144.14 (she couldn’t round off the change?  You’re in trouble Rihanna!) in missing wages from last year, 2009.

On paper, the trainer says that she hired to perform ”exclusive personal training services” for Rihanna at $1,500 per day.  We’d like to perform exclusive services for Rihanna!

Cindy Percival says that she didn’t get a check for a couple of weeks of work between September and October of last year and is also asking for $2,644.14 in travel costs.  We’d pay Rihanna to bend, strut, stretch and sweat for us.  And in the end, we’d be the ones with excessive perspiration!  How do you get these jobs?  Life just isn’t fair.

Rihanna, Sexy and Fun Beach Sweat

No stretch marks on Rihanna’s expensive body.  More Rihanna excessive sweating below:

Rihanna Sweating Herself So Hard

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A Very Sweaty Reese Witherspoon with Sweaty Costar

Sweating done right?  We think so.

Making Movies Has Never Been Sweatier

Sweaty Reese Witherspoon in these so-called postmodern times has joined the club of celebrities with wares to hawk. In this case, she’s joined the stinking club, celebrities with signature fragrances.  Reese Witherspoon has teamed up with Avon to create a new perfume called “In Bloom.”  Does it smell like Reese Witherspoon movie sweat?  Time will tell…  What does Reese say?

“It was a unique experience for me because I had no idea what goes into making perfumes. I thought you just pick a fragrance and it’s easy. But there were all these different levels of creating a scent that were new to me, but really fun and exciting.”

Faces of Sweat, the Unrated Edition

For more Reese Witherspoon sweating, click below:

Reese Witherspoon Without Antiperspirant!

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Alec Baldwin Excessive Sweating Enough for All Baldwins

“Hey Buddy, see this water bottle?  Yeah, in two seconds it’s gonna be on my shirt.  How do you like those apples?”

Watch the pure spectacle and art that is a younger, less sweaty, Alec Baldwin kicking ass and taking names in Glengarry Glen Ross:

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Alec Baldwin talking about comedy, Jerry Seinfeld, Tracy Morgan and Kim Jong-il all at once!  Hilarious…

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Here, below are some more Alec Baldwin excessive sweating events, enjoy:

Alec Baldwin’s Extreme Sweat at of All Things, A Billy Joel Concert

Sweating and Swearing, Alec Baldwin Smiles, Hiding the Ferocious Terror Within

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Ashton Kutcher Jungle Excessive Sweating

Ashton Kutcher isn’t just the sweaty victim of a cougar mauling, he’s also starring in the new movie, Valentine’s Day.  The one time male model, who has a last name that sounds like female genitalia (yeah, a lady’s man so to speak), plays a florist who’s going to propose to Jessica Alba’s character (yes, she still gets roles because she’s amazingly hot).

Ashton Kutcher Sweating with Cougar in Hot Pursuit

Watch out sweaty Ashton Kutcher!  There’s something desperate, older, botoxed ,clamoring for attention right behind  you!  And it could totally eclipse everything you’ve ever done in your career!

We do have a soft spot for you Ashton Kutcher, Mr. Demi Moore, there’s nothing to hate on.

So good luck to you, sweaty cougar slayer you.  Tell the wife, Demi Moore, to stop Photoshopping her magazine covers yo.

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Oh sweaty Robert Pattinson…what more can we say? He has made his claim to fame through the popular teenage romance film Twilight, and now he is firmly entrenched into heartthrob land, will he dig himself out with more interesting roles, like Johnny Depp?

Robert Pattinson with Un-Vampire-Like Forehead Sweating

Honestly, there is no doubt in our mind that vampires are hot…even though they are always supposed to be cold, er or cool?  Wait! How is it that Pattinson is sweating buckets when vampires can not even go in the sun?   We’ve got some continuation issues here, better notify post-production…

I guess that just adds to Rob’s mysterious factor.

Sweaty Robert Pattinson

Regardless it is quite uncanny for this ‘hot vampire’ (complete oxymoron) to be sweating…especially off the Twilight set.

Gorgeous Robert

Nevertheless, how exciting is it that New Moon is coming out so soon?! With a new director lined up, one can only hope that it will be better than the first one.

Hopefully the heart-throb Rob Pattinson, aka Edward Cullen, will be sweat-less and stay gorgeous (obviously) throughout the entire film.

Rob (on a personal note) if you could be ever so kind to apply good antiperspirant before you leave your lair, I am sure loads of teenage girls would highly appreciate it. In fact, they would probably flock to you faster than a cave of bats flying away from the light. (haha) Either that or bottle up your sweating and sell it as teenage crack…

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Drug Addict has Other Talents: Like Sweating into Tomorrow

You can’t simply judge him through the cloudy lenses of his tumultuous relationship with Kate Moss, his constantly sweating appearance on stage and/or his drug addiction, you really have to listen to the subtlety and complexity of his music and lyrics.

If you’re not familiar with sweaty Pete, read on…

What you only hear, if you’ve never seen sweating Pete Doherty perform or hear him talk, is that he’s either some constantly drugged-out British playboy or that he’s having some other sort of drama with fellow crack-head Kate Moss. However, watch this clip to the end, and you might get a hint of the sweaty man-boy’s (perspiring boyish good looks) charm…

Click here to view the embedded video.

Yes, he looks extremely screwed-up on something or other, but there’s just something other-worldly about the environment and his presence in it… We’re very cynical usually, but the combination of musical ability and the aura of playfulness just warms us to the sweaty little monster.

Sweaty but charming… Poets don’t come in neat little packages.

Kate Moss has Good Taste, Sorta: Pete Doherty is a Cool Weirdo

It’s like everything floats off of him until he starts performing and starts lifting everything around him effortlessly with his performance. Well, that’s as glowing of a sweaty recommendation as we’ll give to a celebrity, so we’ll end here…

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Sweaty Clown Face Old William Shatner

In the future, overly dramatic, washed-up actors drown public appearances with their sweating…

Excessive sweating William Shatner, the famous “Captain kirk” from Star Trek, was perspiring bullets in public a while back (2007) at his book signing. Autographing is hard work! His book, “William Shatner Star Trek Academy: Collision Course,” and Mr. Shatner were at Book Soup in West Hollywood.

Sweaty Shatner of course, made some gossip headlines by not making the recent reboot of the Star Trek series by JJ Abrams and company. No sweat Leonard Nimoy, however, did make the new Star Trek movie.

We’re excited and sweaty about the new Star Trek movie because it stays true to what made the original series great. It stays true to the deep and lively characters.

In the old Star Trek, face sweating William Shatner’s character is an equal opportunity playboy. Whether the woman was purple, green or whatever, Captain Kirk was turned-on and beamed-up.

Captain Kirk, while fabulously entertaining in the old series, was surrounded by a bevy of other interesting and diverse characters of all different ethnic and national origins, each with their signature and complex personality traits. All of this and a universe of plot possibilities made the original Star Trek not only an entertaining space adventure, but a philosophically rich adventure as well… It had a winning formula that made it a cult phenomenon that would be syndicated ad infinitum all over the world.

Sweating Like No Man has Before: William Shatner Sweats Beyond Humanity

So many books, so much sweating…

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Cameron Diaz Excessive Sweating But Looking Cute

Not OCD about the excessive sweating…

Cameron Diaz Excessive Sweating All Over Hollywood

With all of the sweating and not necessarily in the limelight too much, sweaty Cameron Diaz still manages to really rake in the Hollywood money.

This past August, Forbes Magazine ranked sweaty Cameron Michelle Diaz as the highest paid actress in Hollywood. We don’t know how it’s possible… Hollywood is a crazy place where even when your star fades, you make loony tunes bank!

The sweaty OCD actress reportedly earned $50 million in the period of a year ending June, 2008, for her roles in What Happens in Vegas and in the third installment of Shrek. Not too bad for an armpit faucet who habitually rubs doorknobs so hard and so often before opening to clean them, that the paint fades from the doorknobs. Wacky!

Cameron Diaz Sweating Through Her Stardom

Cameron Diaz the sweat fairy of Hollywood, leaving clean doorknobs and sweat stains every where she goes, collecting major cash along the way… It’s some kind of sweaty fairy tale.

More Cameron Diaz excessive sweating in Hollywood:

The Sweaty Sex Emperor is Dead, Long Live The Sexy Back Biel

Ghost of Romantic Comedies Past, Cameron Diaz Sweats Being Single

Please Somebody, Take it Off of the Shelf! More Sweaty Pics of Expired Cameron Diaz

Excessive Celebrity Sweating Top Ten List

Cameron Diaz Doesn’t Obsess About Her Sweating (Obviously)

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Sophie Marceau Sweating Through Her Dress and Humidifying the Air

We’re truly surprised that sweaty Sophie Marceau only received international recognition after her 1995 role as Princess Isabelle in Mel Gibson’s farce, “Braveheart.” Later that same year, she was part of an ensemble of international actors in the French film directed by Michelangelo Antonioni and Wim Wenders, “Beyond the Clouds.”

Sophie Marceau No Sweat and All Sexy

More sweaty Sophie Marceau history:

Sophie Marceau in 1997 continued with William Nicholson’s “Firelight,” filmed in England, Véra Belmont’s “Marquise,” filmed in France, and Bernard Rose’s adaptation of the famous novel with the same name, “Anna Karenina.”

The two films that truly defined Sophie as an international star are “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” where she played Hippolyta and the Bond movie, “The World Is Not Enough,” playing Bond girl, Elektra King. Horrible movie, but Sophie Marceau looked terrific.

In 2000, Marceau teamed up again with her then-boyfriend Andrzej Zulawski to film “La Fidélité.”

Sexy Sophie Marceau wrote a semi-autobiographical novel in 2001, “Telling Lies.” The narrator is, well, of course, a beautiful actress who is confident in her beauty and talent and yet insecure. Sorry if this has induced barfing… It’s okay, go cleanup and come back to read the rest, we understand.

The unnamed narrator (the inner Sophie) takes the reader into a world of memories, fantasies, and impressions, but doesn’t ever show herself completely (Marcel Proust anyone?). We only thought there was one great tragedy in 2001, but obviously we at Celebrity Sweating were wrong… Sweaty Sophie, stick to the acting and directing, writing? Not so much.

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Hassle-Tits Sweaty Hasselhoff Strikes Again

Have you seen the new Knight Rider on NBC Hasselhoff? If explosive diarrhea was made into a TV show, you know, the kind where you break out into a cold-sweat, it would be something like the new Knight Rider. Just when you think the show can’t get any crappier, something new happens and everything’s a sweaty, smelly crappy mess again.

Oh, and if you’re wondering sweaty David Hasselhoff, they replaced your Kitt with a Ford Mustang. Yeah, we know, they went from one lower-level American sports car to another, more obnoxious, but equally lower-level American sports car, the Ford Shelby GT 500 KR Mustang. Oh wow, yeah, the Knight Rider character has all the money and resources in the world, but he chooses to super-size a Mustang with lasers and computer shiz. A stupid Mustang.

David Hasselhoff Stays Cool and Sweat-free Here

Knight Rider No Sweat

Anyways Hasselhoff, it was a real nice cameo you had in the two-hour backdoor pilot that aired on February 17, 2008. Keep up the good work, and try to keep those man-boobs dry and sweat-free, sweat lactation isn’t a good look for you.

Oh the 80′s, if we could only return to ridiculously simple plots propelled by one dimensional characters… What a sweat-free and careless retarded world it would be…

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Excessive Sweating Armpits Stain George W Bush at the Olympics

Hey baby, y’ know, I’m the president, that’s right. Yeah, I forgot to wear the old antiperspirant today, whatta y’now? Y’know, if you donna cooperate, I can send your whole family to Gitmo.

Sweaty Old Man Pervert George W Bush

Excessive Sweating George W Bush is the worst president in the history of the United States and yet, he just keeps getting worse… How does one sleep at night knowing that you’ve basically destroyed a whole country, displaced millions of people, and killed hundreds of thousands just for some ridiculously unfair oil contracts for your oil buddies and friends in the war profiteering business.

It gives us all hyperhidrosis just thinking about the damn rotten moron (George W Bush that is). It also makes us cringe that our athletes had to entertain this sweaty drunken oaf while they competed for gold. They train for years and then have to deal with bumbling perspiring idiot extraordinaire during one the most important times of their lives…

Getting sweaty drunk in front of your wife and daughter as the President of the United States while the whole world watches. Priceless. For everything else, there’s Dick Cheney.

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Daniela Hantuchova Excessive Sweating for Adult Audiences Everywhere

Daniela Hantuchova, oh how you’ve grown up! And you look so happy to see all of us! We’re happy to see you and your two friends! Okay, we’ll stop the sweaty perving, we’re starting to feel like Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC is going to pop into the office at any moment now. We swear, she’s old enough, she plays really sweaty pro tennis for Christ’s sake!

Daniela Hantuchova No Sweat Looking Like a Doll

Oh, so many sexy perspiring wet tennis stars, so little time! Daniela Hantuchova, don’t worry about the explosive sweating, we don’t think anyone really minds, in fact, we’re all big fans, so keep on getting your wet on. Oh somebody stop us before we kill again! (Not literally you illiterate psychos, metaphorically, yeesh!)

For more sweaty Daniela Hantuchova action, check out our other posts:

Daniela Hantuchova Sweating at Celebrity Sweating.

And more sweat-inducing dry Daniela Hantuchova pics just for you, dear reader because we love you, with or without sweating. We really do.

Daniela Hantuchova No Sweat Cute as Can Be

Daniela Hantuchova No Sweat Rated PG-13

Oh the sweaty Zumanity!

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If you think that sweaty Debi Mazar looks familiar, you’re right, she does because she’s been in a lot of TV and film productions, but mostly as a character actor and mostly not a lead.

We like Debi Mazar.  Who couldn’t like someone who began their career as a aspiring, perspiring hip hop b-girl in New York City. Debi’s first show biz gig was a television appearance on the pilot for a hip hop TV dance show, Graffiti Rock in 1984.  Perspiring Debi Mazar also appeared in four of Madonna‘s music videos – “Papa Don’t Preach”, “True Blue” (both 1986), “Deeper And Deeper” (1992) and “Music” (2000).

And about that Batman Forever, well, we all make sweaty mistakes…

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The question concerning the very sweaty, very jewish phenomenon of Woody Allen is that now that he and Soon-Yi Previn are married with two adopted daughters, will Woody leave Soon-Yi when those two daughters are ready to harvest?

We kid, we kid, we love sweaty pits Woody Allen and would wreck any home for him as well. The dude kind of rocks, and his movies, most of them, are amazing. And some day, we’ll want some young pretty little young adult to jump-start the last of our days. We understand Woody, but put some antiperspirant on, you’re no spring chicken.

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What the hell is that on her armpit? If Britney Spears other Celebrity Sweating appearances are indicative, then this is just another excessive sweating Britney moment. You think the paparazzi leeches would pass her some antiperspirant every once in a while, but they just suck the filth that comes to the top…

Good news for the sweating, clothes-challenged former Popstar however, as the Los Angeles prosecutors are refusing to file charges for the Britney Spears incident where she ran over some over zealous paparazzi’s foot.

After reviewing police records and a videotape of the incident last year, Deputy District Attorney Joseph D. Shidler wrote Friday that the “only way the victim’s foot could have been where the video indicates it to be was by the victim placing it in that location.“ The photographer, who was not identified in the report, filed a criminal complaint against Spears in early May, nearly six months after the alleged incident. The report describes Spears’ as “driving at an extremely slow rate of speed and in a straight path.“ Spears told police she didn’t remember the incident, and prosecutors believed her. “There was much commotion and noise at the time and there is no proof that the suspect was aware of what happened,“ she said.

We don’t think perspiring Britney is essentially a bad person, trashy and really stupid yes, evil, no…

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You didn’t know sweaty Kelly Osbourne was in Spaceballs, did you? Yes, she was one of the Goth Nerd Lords, the worst of the sweaty Siths.

Perspiration plagued Kelly Osbourne is one of those, famous for being famous, contemporary sweaty stars, who roll with what little merits they accrue, staying in the celebrity world longer than they rightfully deserve… Could anyone really ever claim that she would have been as successful as she was (which was not very successful, she was more sucessful at sweating and sweat staining dresses) if she wasn’t on a hugely popular reality TV show? We think not, but then again, who really knows for sure.

Chubby sweat geyser, Kelly Osbourne is set to play the lead in Stephen King’s new Goth Clown Thriller. Word on the street, is that it’s set at the Alamo, in Texas… What was so special about the Alamo again? We forget.

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Sweaty Mel C or Melanie Jayne Chisholm, we hardly know you over here, across the pond in America, but we know of the Spice Girls, like we know of the herpes. A feeling of sick bewilderment and quiet fear spreads over us every time those two words are brought upon our consciousness (just like that one word, herpes). It’s like admitting that yes, people will indeed swallow anything you give them, no matter how far removed from reality it is. You can take five attractive relative nobodies, wrap them in psuedo identites and add some sort empowerment message, and you get Pop soup, easily digestible, almost instantly forgotten. How did the Nazis come into power? How did George W. Bush get elected twice? We digress about the world’s regression.

Now we’re all sweaty and worked up… Damn you Spice Girls for once again proving that you can’t always trust the sweaty masses.

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