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How do you say?  Excessive sweating explosion? No?

Celebrity Sweating loves that this ten kilo-ton sweating bomb, which is obviously more powerful that what we thought was humanly possible, is also wearing a gold chain topped by the thug haircut.  Really good look there Walter Pandiani.  Poor Walter, you can’t be to hard on a guy named Walter…

Soccer, who understands it.  Hardly anything ever happens and these overpaid playboys cheat and act their way into winning games all the time.  Sweaty dude is sweaty.

By the way, we’re back.  Sorry for the hiatus, we were working on our gangster rap careers. Okay, fine, it was interpretive dance, and it made us feel whole inside.  You shut that filthy mouth of yours!

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Sarah Jessica Parker and Her Excessive Sweating Armpit

Those of us at Celebrity Sweating that have a penis, think sweaty Sarah Jessica Parker sucks and that Sex and the City (the TV show and especially the movies) sucks on level that makes everything else that sucks suck less.  That’s a lot of sweaty sucking.

If there was a term for the philosophy of Sex and the City, it could be labeled as anorexic feminism.  That is, feminism so vapid, commercial and lacking in constructive ideas, that it starves the life out of what being a modern woman is about, that is, it is destructive and basically poisonous to the collective psychology of women.

We didn’t even take Women Studies 101 in college and we can see this plain as day.  Sarah Jessica Parker knows that what she produces is horrible, you can just tell with all of her excessive sweating.

In the Sex and the City world, women are culturally insensitive shallow hogs that are concerned with the most base, and mindless desires while hoarding expensive designer clothes, shoes and accessories without ever understanding the culture and art that goes into those things.  Women who where the brand for the brand.  We could go on and on.  It’s retarded, seriously. Like the picture below.

Why the Sweaty Long Face? (Still Not Sexy)

Retarded like this quote from sweaty Sarah Jessica Parker about her new fragrance coming out soon:

“I’m working on a new genderless fragrance that’s not out yet,” says Parker. “I can’t even tell you what it’s called. It has taken me three years to decide on the scent because I really like B.O. and I think it’s sexy. I wanted to figure out a way to make it palatable to everybody. I was like, ‘How do you get B.O. in a bottle and make an atomiser of it?’”

Retarded.

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Zac Efron Excessive Sweating for Fashion's Sake

Some people are just too lucky, and in this case, it’s okay, because all in all, Zac Efron is one of the good guys in Hollywood.

Zac Efron Sweating the Gym Parking Lot

Excessive sweating dude gives good face, even good sweaty face.  We give  up, dude’s just too beautiful to make fun of, and what could you say?

You can see Mr. Zac Efron in a film adaption of Full Metal Panic called Panic and the live-action adaption of Johny Quest.

These big budget movies could settle sweaty Zac Efron firmly as a Hollywood leading man, depending upon their box office success of course.

Zac Efron's Sweaty Pretty Face

Even a gross sweaty close-up doesn’t ruin this man’s face.

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Katie Price Sweating Out in Nature

So little talent, such big boobs, so much sweating, it’s the rise of civilization, we’ve come so far…

People these days are just famous for being awful, just downright awful (Heidi Montag for example), check out this one time sweaty celebrity couple from across the pond, Katie Price and who cares (some dude, looks like every other dude you’ll find at an urban club).

It’s depressing…  People talk about this reality star and that reality star, and we have no idea why these people are famous and even who they are…  Celebrity has become so watered down, we’re whining about the fact that it doesn’t mean anything any more and that in itself is ridiculous as well.

She’s sweating a lot, and that’s all we have to say, because we have no idea why she’s anybody worth talking about.  Kill us now.

Katie Price (Jordan) and Sweaty Dude of a Husband

Katie Price is currently married to Alex Reid (MMA fighter) What exactly is Jordan’s appeal besides the obvious?  We have no idea…  We will never know.

A Celebrity Couple that Stretches Together Stays Sweaty Together

More Katie Price sweating:

Plastic Boobs Galore, Jordan, Has a Some Excess Sweating Problems

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License to Sweat: Pierce Brosnan Excessively Sweats Obscurity

If the current angry, muscular brute of a James Bond, played Daniel Craig, isn’t a reaction to Pierce Brosnan’s James Bond, then we’re some kind of perverted celebrity body fluid bloggers. Okay, bad analogy.

Sweaty Pierce Brosnan might have been the best looking James Bond, but he just wasn’t believable as the charming international thug, who villains can’t kill before discussing their plans for world domination.

His fight scenes were too slow, too dainty, too clean.  He just didn’t seem like he was breaking any kind of sweat on screen, but he seems to sweat a lot off screen.

Famke Janssen as Xenia, steals the movie from sweaty pits Bronson, in Goldeneye as you’ll see below in our favorite scene from the movie:

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Sweaty Pierce Brosnan, you weren’t bad as Bond, just not believable, but you were entertaining.

Click here to view the embedded video.

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Kerry Katona Sweating Life as a Plus-Size

There’s so much about Kerry Katona that’s like a True Hollywood Story.  The sweaty British celebrity traveled from home to home, ending up in foster care here and there.  The chubby sweaty celebrity left school at age sixteen to become a lap dancer .

Kerry Katona Sweating with Champagne, So Very Posh

The lap dancing, led to her  joining a dance troupe that toured all of Europe.  Kerry attempted to become a glamour model in her teens and posed for nude photographs (we searched, they’re really easy to find).

Sweaty Kerry Katona and Kids

Back 1999, at 18, Kerry Katona became a celebrity as a founding member of all-female pop trio Atomic Kitten. What is she doing now? Getting of bankruptcy, sweating a lot, being a mom, and not much else…

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Steve Carell all Sweating on Purpose?

Hello funny-face McGee. We wonder if Steve Carell only makes that face when is armpits are drenched with sweating?  He’s got so many funny faces, it’s really hard to keep track.

Steve Carell is currently working on a remake of a Peter Sellers film The Bobo and we’re sweaty with anticipation.

Oh, just look at the guy, simply hilarious.  Some people are just funny, and there’s no way around it.

You can see sweaty Steve Carell in his new action comedy, Date Night where he stars with that Sara Palin impersonator (Tina Fey)!

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Steve Carell, How Can you Not Laugh at this Guy?

Looks mildly entertaining… Sort of like a really long Saturday Night Live sketch routine.  Steve Carell is happiness.

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Mariah Carey Sweating Her Slow Fade Into Obscurity

Where have all the Cinderella’s gone?  Cinderella’s story ended early (you never got to find out what happened after the Prince marries Cinderella), and if they made sequels, the story would probably end up like mimicking Mariah Carey’s life.  For realz dawg.  Sweat life.  Sweat life.

What really is sweaty Mariah Carey’s appeal?  Sure, great voice, and used to be a serious hottie who made men sweat everywhere, but that was like a decade ago.

Now Mariah Carey is a recently married sweaty cougar who also happens to be the 6th richest woman in entertainment.

Classy Mariah Carey, No Sweat Out in the Wild

Here’s a Mariah Carey video, circa 2008.  It says everything that needs to be said about how somebody comes from being an inspirational story, bring oneself up from basically nothing, to a tasteless, vapid, sweaty has-been…

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Can you say lame?  Really?  Are nerdy white guys really dreaming about Mariah Carey (she was 38 when this video was shot)?  Really?

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Teri Hatcher Sweat Stained Cougar

Sweaty cougar roar!

Former NFL cheerleader, and currently a desperate housewife, a role suited for sweaty Teri Hatcher, as art copies real life, is found excessive sweating her way out of the sexy-face.  If you’re going to make a sexy-face, make sure your fluids, especially your sweat, are contained, just say’n.

We’re not haters, actually, sometimes we are, but we love sweaty Teri Hatcher for the most part.  How can you hate someone who’s been a Bond girl and Superman’s girlfriend?

Perspiring Teri Hatcher is one of the highest paid TV actresses in the United States, she reportedly mints $285,000 per episode (might be more now) of Desperate Housewives.

Teri Hatcher Marathon Sweating

Not the best running outfit to be sweating in Teri Hatcher, nothing quite matches or works together (your stylist on vacation here?)…

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Alec Baldwin Excessive Sweating Enough for All Baldwins

“Hey Buddy, see this water bottle?  Yeah, in two seconds it’s gonna be on my shirt.  How do you like those apples?”

Watch the pure spectacle and art that is a younger, less sweaty, Alec Baldwin kicking ass and taking names in Glengarry Glen Ross:

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Alec Baldwin talking about comedy, Jerry Seinfeld, Tracy Morgan and Kim Jong-il all at once!  Hilarious…

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Here, below are some more Alec Baldwin excessive sweating events, enjoy:

Alec Baldwin’s Extreme Sweat at of All Things, A Billy Joel Concert

Sweating and Swearing, Alec Baldwin Smiles, Hiding the Ferocious Terror Within

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Excessive Sweating Hilary Swank, On a Casting for the Next Terminator?

“Fierce” isn’t quite the the right word, attractively menacing?  Is she looking for John Conner?

Sweaty Hilary Swank has made some bad movies (The Next Karate Kid, Emelia Earhart, etc.) and some amazing ones (Boys Don’t Cry, Million Dollar Baby, etc.)…  And she’s still going strong, as the methodic actor, sweaty Hilary Swank, is set to make a new version of Intimate Strangers.  The  ”actor, not a celebrity” (quote by Hilary Swank), is also currently set up to play the lead role and producer for a film based on John Marks novel Fangland, reportedly going to be directed by John Carpenter.  Sounds like a scary sweat-fest!

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Ashton Kutcher Jungle Excessive Sweating

Ashton Kutcher isn’t just the sweaty victim of a cougar mauling, he’s also starring in the new movie, Valentine’s Day.  The one time male model, who has a last name that sounds like female genitalia (yeah, a lady’s man so to speak), plays a florist who’s going to propose to Jessica Alba’s character (yes, she still gets roles because she’s amazingly hot).

Ashton Kutcher Sweating with Cougar in Hot Pursuit

Watch out sweaty Ashton Kutcher!  There’s something desperate, older, botoxed ,clamoring for attention right behind  you!  And it could totally eclipse everything you’ve ever done in your career!

We do have a soft spot for you Ashton Kutcher, Mr. Demi Moore, there’s nothing to hate on.

So good luck to you, sweaty cougar slayer you.  Tell the wife, Demi Moore, to stop Photoshopping her magazine covers yo.

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Ashley Jones Sweating on the Red Carpet

Armpit sweat disaster Ashley Jones is a daytime star, becoming a standout on the very long-running CBS soap opera The Young and the Restless.

Ashley Jones played Megan Dennison Viscardi from 1998 to 2000 and came back for a brief stint in 2001.  Ashley Jones earned two Daytime Emmy nominations for her role on The Young and the Restless.  Below, she’s doing on turn on the second season of True Blood, playing Daphne and dipping in the pond because she’s all sweaty!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Ashley Jones is of course playing Dr. Bridget Forrester on The Bold and the Beautiful since December 2004.  The part in the daytime series was originated by Agnes Bruckner and later played by Jennifer Finnigan and Emily Harrison.

We think she’s all kinds of talented!

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Sweaty Reese Witherspoon, we loved you in Election even though we loved hating you in the movie itself!

Is there a more versatile actress in Hollywood?  Sweaty and spunky Reese Witherspoon has been on a roll lately playing everything under the sun, every kind of female role there is to play, and she’s great in almost everything!

You can see or hear sweaty Reese Witherspoon in her future upcoming projects which include a voice role in The Bear and the Bow (computer-animated 3-D film) made by Pixar Animation Studios (so you know it’ll be good) and a Universal Pictures remake of the 1939 comedy movie, Midnight, which is written by Michael Andt. The Bear and the bow is on schedule for Chrismas of 2011, while Midnight has no release date yet…

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Tony Blair Excessive Sweating

Excessive sweating Anthony Charles Lynton Blair is an awfully long name for a sweaty douche bag, and a quitter.   Sweaty Tony Blair is famous for a lot of things, but in the last decade, mostly for being frat brothers with logically disabled George W. Bush.

Excessively sweaty and slimey Tony Blair was step for step with helping the propaganda gain momentum leading up to the second Iraq war, and instrumental in helping convince people all around the world fearful of another 9/11 that the upcoming war will be good for the people of Iraq.  A million dead is definitely a good thing?

Sweaty Tony Blair, when he quit as Prime Minister, he was ironically appointed the official Envoy of the Quartet on the Middle East on behalf of the United Nations, the European Union, the United States, and Russia. Quartet on the Middle East, which also means, the ‘how do smooth over stealing oil form arabs organization…’  The truth, it’s beautiful, sweaty and ugly at the same time.

Tony Blair, A Bit of Hairy Back Sweating

The extra sweaty “War on Terror” or the war on an abstract concept, began in 2001, and Tony Blair loved to cheer lead and make everyone afraid…

The British invade Afghanistan in 2001 and Iraq in 2003 and as a result, Mr. Blair faced harsh criticism over his policies and cheerleading of George W. Bush.  There was especially harsh criticism over the controversial circumstances in which going to war was decided, remember the claims that Iraq was developing weapons of mass destruction?

Nobel prizewinning playwright Harold Pinter and former Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohammad, have accused Blair of war crimes.   Tony Blair was of course honored by the Republican houses for unwavering support of the United States government’s foreign policy, and was given the Congressional Gold Medal (which might as well have been soaked in blood and black oil) on 18 July 2003.

So much to sweat for Mr. Blair…  We know, killing people for oil is a really sweaty job.

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Taylor Lautner Werewolf Sweating

Gil Birmingham (middle) posted the above excessive perspiration picture on his facebook page and we’re glad to promote it for him!

Oh you’re such a dirty, dirty sweaty monster you!

Spoiler alert!  Dude doesn’t get the girl in the second movie, but the dude is basically the star of the movie and well, almost gets her, or rather, could of gotten her…  Go Taylor Lautner, sweaty teenage He-Man!  You’ll get over that brooding vampire lover soon enough.

More Twilight excessive sweating teen stars below:
Twilight’s Kristen Stewart Sweating Like a Chubby Goth Girl in Summer

“Hot Vampire” Sweats?…

Teen Sensation Robert Pattinson Excessively Sweats his New Fame

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Billy Corgan as Uncle Fester Excessive Sweating

We have a feeling sweaty Billy Corgan misses the nineties…  We certainly don’t (besides the good economy, there was like a few good bands and grunge for the most part, sucked besides Nirvana, who were gods).

Back in 2006, Billy Corgan moved in with Courtney Love and her daughter, Frances Bean Cobain. Two years later, Courtney Love criticized sweaty Billy Corgan publicly over the latter’s alleged refusal to attend Frances’ sweet 16 birthday party. Yeah, we probably wouldn’t go either… “Oh, you’re like 16, that’s cool.”

Billy Corgan No Sweating Yet with Jackie Johnson

Lately, you can spot sweaty Billy Corgan with Los Angeles very talented weatherforecaster, Jackie Johnson. We think it’s always sunny for Billy Corgan (with a little bit of humidity) now, what do you think?

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Good Ol' Boy Kevin Costner Sweating

Can you feel the mediocrity?  Peace brah, peace.

Hair plug evangelist, sweaty Kevin Costner had a body double for his naked swimming scene in Robinhood. Now you have to ask yourself, how ugly is your ass when you need a body double for an ass scene?  Ass-insecurity aside, sweaty Kevin Costner has been in some pretty good movies…  Waterworld is not one of them…  It’s sort of a Madmax with boats, and isn’t nearly as good, wetter, but not as good.

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You can see sweaty Kevin Costner at the next celebrity golf tournament and in cable showings of his movies… He’s currently married to german model and handbag designer Christine Baumgartnerk.

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Sylvester Stallone, Yo Adrienne, Where's My Antiperspirant

“Yo, Adrienne, Cut to a montage, damn growth hormones are making me excessively sweaty!”

Rocky Balboa Sweating

We kid, sweaty Sylvester Stallone is one of our favorite actors, not because he’s a great actor,  nor because he sweats a lot, but because he’s Sylvester Stallone.  He basically is a version of himself in all his macho, sweat laced, and violent movies.

How can you hate a guy who made Rocky?  Most of the sweaty Rocky movies are like 80% montage…  It’s amazing.  If you don’t believe us, rent one!  Netflix these bitches, and you’ll see, you’ll be punching air while working up a sweat on your jog in no time…

Yeah, it’s like a training or macho workout video made into a sweaty boxing movie.  Are Sylvester Stallone movies guy movies?  Hell yes.

Who’s going to be the next sweaty Sylvester Stallone?  It’s not going to happen baby.

Here’s Eddie Murphy’s take on Rocky and Italians (warning, not safe to be heard at work)…

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So the moral is, according to Eddie Murphy, don’t mess with Italians after they’ve seen any of the Rockys, unless of course, you’re bigger than they are…

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Wilmer Valderrama Sweating Hipster

Just look at this lucky, sweaty immigrant!  And we say that with sweaty love…  Mucho love!  Because Excessive sweating armpits Wilmer Valderrama got famous, funny enough, playing an accented, flaming  immigrant on That 70′s Show.

You know, that old joke that foreign men are simply more, well, feminine…  And in this case, sweaty!

Wilmer Valderrama is of course, still close friends with former That ’70s Show co-stars Topher Grace, Ashton Kutcher and Danny Masterson (Scientologist).

Wilmer Valderrame is also very famous for being a man about town, a Hollywood hipster that’s dated some major female players in Young Hollywood.

He’s dated Mandy Moore for 18 months between 2000-2002 and the ever aging rapidly through wonderful coke, Lindsay Lohan in 2003-04. He then also dated walking future Stepford Wife, Hilary Duff.

The immigrant star created a sweaty, horny media storm  from a March 2006 radio interview with Howard Stern, where Wilmer Valderrama complained about the size of his penis, claimed to have stolen Mandy Moore’s virginity, and rated the sexual prowess of singer-actresses Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ashlee Simpson.  It makes us excessively perspire in jealousy, really…

Wilmer Valderrama had reportedly disappeared from the Hollywood hipster scene since saying the all of the above…  Mandy Moore later referred to Valderrama as a “good guy” and a “gentleman”, although she has stated that his comments about their relationship were “utterly tacky”.  Speaking of utterly tacky, check out the Howard Stern cartoon based on the Wilmer Valderrama interview (sweaty Wilmer Valderrama is Captain Craps).

Click here to view the embedded video.

And lastly, the short latino stud has been rumored to have dated Alexandra Cheron.  From Venezuela to dating the hottest young white stars of Hollywood…  Where are the all the lame border minutmen?  Ha, we’re gonna get some hate letters, from like everyone!

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Jennifer Carpenter Armpit Sprinkler Sweat Stain Malfunction

You’re killing us honey, really.  You can’t really sweat like that in a post 9/11 world!

You think if you made it to cable, Showtime to say the least, you could afford some antiperspirant for your red carpet sweating?

If you don’t know about Showtimes’s Dexter, however, you should check it out…  It makes us sweat with it’s moral flexibility.  It could be your thing, if your thing is complex, postmodern plot setups, well, just watch!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Yeah, it’s about a serial killer who only kills other killers…  Maybe that’s why Jennifer Carpenter is sweating the red carpet, she’s standing next to the serial killer in the show!  Who also happens to be her husband! Dum Dum Dum! Holy plot twist Batman!

True Hollywood Sweating Story!

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