If Sweat Could Talk, Mario Would Have a Real Career

Sweaty Mario Lopez, otherwise known in his female form as, Camila Alves, is a Hollywood phenomenon know as the the mega-attractive cable host with zero personality.  Somehow, someway, for some unexplainable reason, somebody gave both of them their own show to host.  Isn’t that cute?  It’s like giving a baby a laptop or George W. Bush the presidency.

And seriously, Camila Alves?  Celebrity baby dispenser Camila Alves?  Host of Shear Genius?  What?  Does Matthew McConaughey really have that kind of power or are the people at Bravo all retarded elves?  Either answer is tremendously frightening on an unimaginable scale, really makes us sweat.

For more A.C. Slater sweating, click below:

A.C. Slater All Grown-Up and Extra Sweaty!

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Eva Mendes Sexy Excessive Sweating

Eva Mendes Sweating for Calvin Klein

Calvin Klein always knows how to pick his sweaty models, as there aren’t too many substances hotter than wet with perspiration, Eva Mendes.

And no, it’s not Latino week at Celebrity Sweating… We just had to do a positive sweaty Latino story to balance things out in the perspiration Universe (just a sweaty coincidence) with yesterday’s Marc Anthony sweat attack.

Eva Mendes Hot Sex-Appeal Perspiration

Sweat, it can be a real thing of beauty, when used for the greater good…  For the benefit of sweaty society at large.  Amen sweaty brothers and sisters, amen.

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America Ferrera Sweating Herself Swamp Green

Sweaty America Ferrera goes to school at USC (University of Southern California), and she’s studying “international relations.” Well, we think antiperspirant is a not a bad way to start some international relations right.

America Ferrera and her Sweaty Politics

Sweating America Ferrera supported Hillary Clinton for president and joined the senator and her daughter on the campaign in Nevada and Pennsylvania, but we won’t put that against her, we would have all voted for her if Obama didn’t exist. America Ferrera has also been quoted as saying that the United States should take responsibility for illegal immigration and provide more help to immigrants, which are both bold stances in a controversial area. We couldn’t agree more…

During the 2007 Independent Spirit Awards, America Ferrera had said that the United States will be “the land of the free” in 2008, which of course is interpreted as a criticism of and a joke involving, George W. Bush, the Great Satan (others would say).

Sweaty America Ferrera Sweating in the Wild

Sweaty America Ferrera Awards

Time Magazine chose sweaty America Ferrera as one of the top artists and entertainers in their “Time 100: The Most Influential People In The World” issue. In July 2007, America Ferrera was awarded the Imagen Foundation’s Creative Achievement Award On September 16, 2007, sweating Ferrera also won a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series for her role of Betty Suarez on ABC’s Ugly Betty.

America Ferrera’s The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, the sequel to the 2005 film The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants has done better than the first, grossing over 44 million world wide…

More sweating Ugly Betty below:

Hyperhidrosis and Sweaty Betty, America Ferrera Turn Off the Armpit Faucets

Sweaty Betty Does it Again

Ugly Betty Spinoff: Sweaty Betty?

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Excessive Sweating Cristiano Ronaldo Sweats Through Layers

Excessive sweating, whore-loving, international soccer stud, Cristiano Ronaldo doesn’t really have a problem in the world, besides of course, middle-class morals and values, which he has none… Sweaty Cristiano Ronaldo, for those of you out of touch with the rest of the world, is Manchester United’s Portuguese soccer star (football star to the rest of the world outside the U.S.). Soccer is that sweaty, frustating sport with very little scoring that everyone else in the world absolutely loves. With so little scoring, soccer riots are a part of the fun… Sort of like if no one is having sweaty, perspiration-drenched sex, crime goes up in that area (riots of passion)…

And he’s really something. Off the soccer field, sweaty Cristiano Ronaldo loves to party with teammates and some hired help, otherwise known as prostitutes. Incredibly talented, incredibly good-looking and extremely sweaty, does not equal easily satiated. Rock-on sweaty rockstar.

Everyone Loves Cristiano

Cristiano Ronaldo, Manchester United’s winger, has been voted the Ultimate Gay Icon in a poll of British gay men performed by, you’ll never guess, Gay Gold Diggers. On the sweaty internets, there’s something for everyone. Could this be why Cristiano is sweating so much?

Gay Gold Diggers is quoted as saying:

Ronaldo’s ripped body, slicked-back hair, shiny white teeth and jewellery swung the votes his way. He looks like any gay man or woman’s dream. What with being Footballer of the Year, scoring 42 goals last season and former girlfriends saying he is talented off the pitch, he seems to have everything going for him.

What about his excessive sweating? We think they like his sweating too… Celebrity Sweating does. Eurotrash, sweat-challenged soccer pro bumped Aussie pop tart Kylie Minogue to second place. The gay icon list is as follows:

Sweaty Cristiano Ronaldo Having a Bromance

1. Cristiano Ronaldo

2. Kylie Minogue

3. Judy Garland

4. Elton John

5. Liza Minnelli

6. The Village People

7. David Beckham

8. George Michael

9. John Barrowman

10. Paul O’Grad

Questionable playboy activities, yes. Worth millions in euros? Yes, indeed, and we have video proof in pudding…

Click here to view the embedded video.

Looks like the eurotrash traveling party is floating in the air at moments… It’s actually amazing to watch, and we don’t even like soccer. We’d be sweating if we had to be on the opposing team.

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Nadine Velasquez Sweating Into Our Hearts

Beautiful and sweaty Nadine Velazquez while exotic, is from the Midwest, Chicago, Illinois, to be exact. She’s of Puerto Rican descent and was sent to Notre Dame High School for Girls. We’d love to see a movie about that place…

Nadine Velasquez No Sweat

Sweaty Nadine Velasquez isn’t just all excessive perspiration perfection, she’s got brains, not that any of you dear readers are zombies, we mean brains as in smart! She’s got a BA in marketing, we’re totally sold.

The sweaty girl’s performed in the 2004 film “Blast!”, the TV movie “The Last Ride” and the 2006 release “House of the Dead II”. However, she currently stars in the extremely overrated NBC series “My Name Is Earl” as Catalina Aruca.

Nadine’s appeared on the January 2006 cover of “Stuff,” and was named #39 in the annual “Maxim Hot 100 list.” We really don’t understand how all of these Men’s magazines stay in business, but who’s complaining? We love the soft-core

Sweaty Velasquez was also originally cast as Fernando Sucre’s girlfriend Maricruz Delgado in the FOX series “Prison Break” but acquired a role in “My Name Is Earl” instead. She can be seen briefly on the “Prison Break” set in a featurette on the show’s first season DVD set.

Nadine is also advocate for beauty, she was one of the judges in the Miss Universe 2008 beauty pageant. She can judge us anytime…

Nadine Velasquez No Sweat But All Sexy

Dear Celebrity Sweating reader, if you’re in love, you can also see more of sweaty Nadine Velazquez in the star-studded monologue show “Skirts & Flirts.” Nadine’s latest film roles have been “War” with Jet Li and Jason Statham, and in the Oxygen Network’s original television movie “Husband for Hire.” We’re available sweating Nadine Velazquez, and we’ll work for free.

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Sweaty Leryn Franco is some kind of dimensional traveler from a parallel universe where fierce, perspiration-wet and extraordinarily beautiful amazon women roam in bikinis giggling. This parallel universe, some archeologists call it Paraguay, which translated from the local tribal dialect means “spear throwing magical unicorns,” has sent a very special ambassador to the 2008 Beijing Olympics, Leryn Franco.

This sweating 26-year-old Paraguayan javelin thrower, Leryn Franco, honestly might be the most attractive phenomenon at this year’s Olympics (and there are plenty of sweaty beauties this year). The Paraguayan is simply stunning as her look goes beyond beautiful and into the realm of cathartically divine.

Okay, we know, enough with the Olympic posts, but you see, there are so many wonderful and inspiring Olympic personal stories that we really don’t care about, so we’ll go on tell you about all the sweating and the beauty, and if there’s lots of sweating and lots of beauty together, well, that’s a sure-fire winner for Celebrity Sweating…

Leryn Franco Sweaty Wet

Sweaty Leryn Franco About to Spear all of Our Hearts

Sexy and sweaty Paraguayan javelin thrower Leryn Franco may have came in at 51st overall in a field of, well, only 52 competitors at the Beijing Games, but the memory of her Olympic presence will not soon be forgotten, especially among the male of our species…

Sweaty Franco is a a part-time model and bikini contestant, wowed Beijing audiences around the world with her exotic good looks despite her slightly disappointing performance in the javelin throw (we mean, how can you really be disappointed in anything this sweating angel does?). Throw that javelin right at our sweating chests Leryn, we can’t breathe around you anyways, and our deaths won’t be in vain…

Leryn Franco No Sweat Modeling

On August 19th, in Beijing, beautiful Leryn Franco finished with a performance that was 12 meters short of her personal best of 55.38 meters.

Previously, the Paraguayan javelin stunner competed at the 2004 Athens Olympics, where she placed 42nd overall. Perhaps the modeling is dulling her competitive edge, but we’re not complaining…

However, perspriration-glistening Leryn isn’t disappearing from famedom quite yet, even if her sweaty Olympic medal dreams are over. Leryn’s sexy and sweaty nude photos in her 2007 calendar will likely bring her more exposure for the modeling career in the future. The fame she has created from the Beijing Olympics has brought her more fans who all seemingly have a javelin of sorts stuck into their hearts…

Leryn Franco No Sweat Nudity

(You’re welcome dear Celebrity Sweating reader)

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Frankly, sweaty Efren was one of the more believable characters in Napolean Dynamite as his character stayed consistent throughout the movie, while acting and talent challenged Jon Heder kept going in and out of character for the legth of the entire movie. In Napolean Dynamite’s acting sequel, Blades of Glory, Jon Heder plays almost the same exact character, except with a metrosexual flair. The kid’s got the acting range of a kindergarten Christmas play. Sweaty Pedro is actually, much more likable, even with his profuse armpit sweating.

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