Eva Amurri Sweating in Red All Over the Red Carpet

And she’s sweating all over Hollywood, it’s the pits.

Susan Sarandon & Daughter Eva Amurri, it’s like Susan Sarandon got younger, taller and hotter all at once.

Eva Amurri, Not Just a Sweaty Susan Sarandon 2.0

We had to show a pic from the sweaty strip club scene from Californication, you know, for science.

Eva Amurri Californication

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Steve Carell all Sweating on Purpose?

Hello funny-face McGee. We wonder if Steve Carell only makes that face when is armpits are drenched with sweating?  He’s got so many funny faces, it’s really hard to keep track.

Steve Carell is currently working on a remake of a Peter Sellers film The Bobo and we’re sweaty with anticipation.

Oh, just look at the guy, simply hilarious.  Some people are just funny, and there’s no way around it.

You can see sweaty Steve Carell in his new action comedy, Date Night where he stars with that Sara Palin impersonator (Tina Fey)!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Steve Carell, How Can you Not Laugh at this Guy?

Looks mildly entertaining… Sort of like a really long Saturday Night Live sketch routine.  Steve Carell is happiness.

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Sheryl Crow Cougar Sweat Leakage

Does anyone remember this sweaty lady?  Sheryl Crow’s music has been like her sex appeal, barely above memorable, and that’s okay, because girlfriend’s done fine by her.  Serious.  She a rich lady.

Yeah, we know, that’s not a whole lot of sweating, but we just wanted to dish about sweaty Sheryl Crow, because damn it, she’s famous enough and we’re bored enough.  

What’s really fascinating is that we don’t know anyone who listens to the former sorority girl, Sheryl Crow, but yet, she’s got like some sort of mega career.  Perplexing.  Maybe we’re not the core demographic…  But what is this demographic?

Sheryl Crow's Sweaty Old-Lady Armpits

The above sweaty lady is 48-years old…  Sheryl Crow is a long rose.

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Teri Hatcher Sweat Stained Cougar

Sweaty cougar roar!

Former NFL cheerleader, and currently a desperate housewife, a role suited for sweaty Teri Hatcher, as art copies real life, is found excessive sweating her way out of the sexy-face.  If you’re going to make a sexy-face, make sure your fluids, especially your sweat, are contained, just say’n.

We’re not haters, actually, sometimes we are, but we love sweaty Teri Hatcher for the most part.  How can you hate someone who’s been a Bond girl and Superman’s girlfriend?

Perspiring Teri Hatcher is one of the highest paid TV actresses in the United States, she reportedly mints $285,000 per episode (might be more now) of Desperate Housewives.

Teri Hatcher Marathon Sweating

Not the best running outfit to be sweating in Teri Hatcher, nothing quite matches or works together (your stylist on vacation here?)…

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Sweaty Danny Bonaduce: The Ed Hardy Demographic

Sweaty Danny Bonaduce (what a douche he), isn’t just a Ed Hardy customer, he is the core demographic for douche bag clothing everywhere!

“Yo brah, you got that in pink?”

In the picture on the left, sweaty boobs Danny Bonaduce could be on a casting call for the next Gremlins (the resemblance to the gremlins from the movie is uncanny).

Excessive sweating in pink, so manly.

We don’t know too much about Danny Bonaduce, besides he smells of douche, but we do know that he’s some sort of rabid Republican, which turns up the douche bag meter by quite a bit.

Leaky boobs Danny Bonaduce loves to be a guest on political shows.  He is, of course, a strong supporter of capital punishment and a strong military.

On Fox News, or faux news, sweaty Bonaduce stated that Jane Fonda should have been murdered for treason for her role in support of the Vietnamese authorities during the Vietnam War.  He also stated on MSNBC’s Scarborough Country saying:

“Personally I think at this point if anyone had a rope thick enough, I think that Rosie should be strung up for treason.”

Ever classy Danny Bonaduce is referring to Rosie O’Donnell.  Sweaty Danny Bonaduce is really committed to be a douche bag.  True Hollywood Story.

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Ashley Jones Sweating on the Red Carpet

Armpit sweat disaster Ashley Jones is a daytime star, becoming a standout on the very long-running CBS soap opera The Young and the Restless.

Ashley Jones played Megan Dennison Viscardi from 1998 to 2000 and came back for a brief stint in 2001.  Ashley Jones earned two Daytime Emmy nominations for her role on The Young and the Restless.  Below, she’s doing on turn on the second season of True Blood, playing Daphne and dipping in the pond because she’s all sweaty!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Ashley Jones is of course playing Dr. Bridget Forrester on The Bold and the Beautiful since December 2004.  The part in the daytime series was originated by Agnes Bruckner and later played by Jennifer Finnigan and Emily Harrison.

We think she’s all kinds of talented!

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Sweaty Reese Witherspoon, we loved you in Election even though we loved hating you in the movie itself!

Is there a more versatile actress in Hollywood?  Sweaty and spunky Reese Witherspoon has been on a roll lately playing everything under the sun, every kind of female role there is to play, and she’s great in almost everything!

You can see or hear sweaty Reese Witherspoon in her future upcoming projects which include a voice role in The Bear and the Bow (computer-animated 3-D film) made by Pixar Animation Studios (so you know it’ll be good) and a Universal Pictures remake of the 1939 comedy movie, Midnight, which is written by Michael Andt. The Bear and the bow is on schedule for Chrismas of 2011, while Midnight has no release date yet…

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Billy Corgan as Uncle Fester Excessive Sweating

We have a feeling sweaty Billy Corgan misses the nineties…  We certainly don’t (besides the good economy, there was like a few good bands and grunge for the most part, sucked besides Nirvana, who were gods).

Back in 2006, Billy Corgan moved in with Courtney Love and her daughter, Frances Bean Cobain. Two years later, Courtney Love criticized sweaty Billy Corgan publicly over the latter’s alleged refusal to attend Frances’ sweet 16 birthday party. Yeah, we probably wouldn’t go either… “Oh, you’re like 16, that’s cool.”

Billy Corgan No Sweating Yet with Jackie Johnson

Lately, you can spot sweaty Billy Corgan with Los Angeles very talented weatherforecaster, Jackie Johnson. We think it’s always sunny for Billy Corgan (with a little bit of humidity) now, what do you think?

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Petra Nemcova Sweating but Looking Lovely Indeed

Yeah, we know, it’s not a huge sweat stain, but if gives us a chance to talk about Petra Nemcová, and we’ll take that chance every time we get, thank you or you’re welcome….

Petra Nemcova No Sweat, But Still Wet

Here Petra Nemcová talks about surviving a sweating Tsunami, we kid, just a regular Tsunami…

Click here to view the embedded video.

Oh the accent, it hurts, we’re in love!  Petra N?mcová, no matter how much you sweat, you’ve just got bumped up the list for cloning.  There needs to be an army of you…  And she’s cool too, check out her charity below:

After the Tsunami in 2005, Petra N?mcová started The Happy Hearts Fund, a charitable organization and campaign formed after the supermodel’s recovery from the Tsunami of 2004. It aims to advocate and provide for disadvantaged youngsters who have had to endure hardship and who are not receiving the essential and sustainable help they need to continue their lives after difficult experiences.

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Oksana Baiul Excessive Perspiration Armpits

Excessive sweating Oksana Baiul gives trashy American-Russian (actually Ukrainian) a bad name…  Or ex-figure skaters the world around.

Between the drunk driving and celebrity poker circuit, sweaty blonde ghost of Olympic ice rinks past, Oksana Baiul likes to show up on the red carpet with a sweaty swamp underneath her arms.

If you really want to see how disastrous this blonde sweaty sponge can be, keep reading…

Yeah, you can age gracefully, or you can, well, do the following.  There’s no sweating, but Oksana, darling, you need a whole new look, probably a whole new you.  Yeah, we would say, buy some sweat stopping antiperspirant and press the reset button on that closet of yours.

Oksana Baiul No Sweating but a Lot of Mess

Lets start with the grandma hot pants here…  Unless you’re Richard Simmons, this just isn’t going to work anywhere except the local truck stop…

Lamb of God is crying somewhere.

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Wilmer Valderrama Sweating Hipster

Just look at this lucky, sweaty immigrant!  And we say that with sweaty love…  Mucho love!  Because Excessive sweating armpits Wilmer Valderrama got famous, funny enough, playing an accented, flaming  immigrant on That 70′s Show.

You know, that old joke that foreign men are simply more, well, feminine…  And in this case, sweaty!

Wilmer Valderrama is of course, still close friends with former That ’70s Show co-stars Topher Grace, Ashton Kutcher and Danny Masterson (Scientologist).

Wilmer Valderrame is also very famous for being a man about town, a Hollywood hipster that’s dated some major female players in Young Hollywood.

He’s dated Mandy Moore for 18 months between 2000-2002 and the ever aging rapidly through wonderful coke, Lindsay Lohan in 2003-04. He then also dated walking future Stepford Wife, Hilary Duff.

The immigrant star created a sweaty, horny media storm  from a March 2006 radio interview with Howard Stern, where Wilmer Valderrama complained about the size of his penis, claimed to have stolen Mandy Moore’s virginity, and rated the sexual prowess of singer-actresses Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ashlee Simpson.  It makes us excessively perspire in jealousy, really…

Wilmer Valderrama had reportedly disappeared from the Hollywood hipster scene since saying the all of the above…  Mandy Moore later referred to Valderrama as a “good guy” and a “gentleman”, although she has stated that his comments about their relationship were “utterly tacky”.  Speaking of utterly tacky, check out the Howard Stern cartoon based on the Wilmer Valderrama interview (sweaty Wilmer Valderrama is Captain Craps).

Click here to view the embedded video.

And lastly, the short latino stud has been rumored to have dated Alexandra Cheron.  From Venezuela to dating the hottest young white stars of Hollywood…  Where are the all the lame border minutmen?  Ha, we’re gonna get some hate letters, from like everyone!

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Jennifer Carpenter Armpit Sprinkler Sweat Stain Malfunction

You’re killing us honey, really.  You can’t really sweat like that in a post 9/11 world!

You think if you made it to cable, Showtime to say the least, you could afford some antiperspirant for your red carpet sweating?

If you don’t know about Showtimes’s Dexter, however, you should check it out…  It makes us sweat with it’s moral flexibility.  It could be your thing, if your thing is complex, postmodern plot setups, well, just watch!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Yeah, it’s about a serial killer who only kills other killers…  Maybe that’s why Jennifer Carpenter is sweating the red carpet, she’s standing next to the serial killer in the show!  Who also happens to be her husband! Dum Dum Dum! Holy plot twist Batman!

True Hollywood Sweating Story!

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Adriana Lima Sweating Her Sex Appeal

She’s got the face for the times…  And, well, much, much more…

No Sweat Adriana Lima, Not So Subtle Beauty

 

Sweat inducing Adriana Lima speaks three languages, her native Portuguese, English, French, and a bit of Italian. Too hot for words, Lima was a late bloomer as she was shy around boys when she was younger, not kissing until she was 17 years old.  The lucky boy who kissed her went directly to her mother to ask if he could marry her, and well, we know how that turned out…

Adriana Lima is also a devout Catholic  who attends church every Sunday, oh the irony is killing us spiritually.  Yes, she’s naked basically all the time but is a Bible thumper.  It makes us want to do an “Elliott Smith.”

In April 2006, she told GQ magazine that she was a virgin. “Sex is for after marriage,” she was quoted saying… “They [men] have to respect that this is my choice. If there’s no respect, that means they don’t want me.”[27] When she was younger, she studied to become a nun and often takes a Bible back behind the runway to read.  Obviously, we think it’d be hotter if she was reading Neitsche or Proust, but nobody’s perfect.

Adriana Lima in No Sweat Weird GQ Spread

Holy sweating Adriana Lima has been tied to musician/singer Lenny Kravitz, Prince Wenzeslaus of Liechtenstein, and Denny of Timbalada.  In February, she married Serbian basketball player Marko Jarić. The celebrity couple wed in a private civil ceremony in Jackson Hole, Wyoming on Valentines Day.

Later in June, the couple plan on having two more weddings, one in both of their home towns…  We’re evil, be we kind of hope it’s a short marriage.  Oh come on, oh fine!  We wish them the best…  Ugh.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Yes, catch your breath…  Wipe the sweat away.  We had to wipe a lot of things after watching that clip.  A lot of things that were sweaty!  Don’t be gross.

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Keira Knightley Sweating Through the Darkest of Colors

We want to really like sweaty armpits Keira Knightley, we really do… But every time the camera moves away from her magnificent head and onto her sweaty skeletal body, we feel a deep emptiness inside…

It’s really a sweaty existential dilemma that leaves us perplexed with our confused perspiration. We love everything about her, her accent, her personality and her talent, but there’s that one thing… It’s the fear that one day the wind will just carry her away into a Sally Struthers commercial and we’ll end up sending loads of money. It’s really quite unnerving. We lose so much sleep.

Keira Knightley Sweating Armpit Stain

Perspiring armpits Keira Knightley has successfully auditioned for the role of Eliza Doolittle, in the Columbia Pictures planned remake of the stage musical My Fair Lady, sounds epic brah. Keira will also appear in The Beautiful and the Damned, a biopic about the life and relationship of American novelist F. Scott Fitzgerald and his novelist wife Zelda Sayre. We’re keeping our fingers crossed hoping that there’s more beautiful than damn in that movie… We’re so “West Egg.” And we know it.

In 2008 she was attached to play Cordelia in a big screen adaptation of King Lear which was subsequently abandoned. Knightley has confirmed that she will not be starring in the fourth installment of Pirates of the Caribbean. Yes, they’re making another one…

This summer, sweaty-pits Knightley will work with Colin Farrell on the movie London Boulevard. We really hope she doesn’t blow away…

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Perfect Barbie Marrissa Miller Sweats Victoria's Pits

There’s so much pressure on those armpits from the center, of course they’re bursting with extra sweating!

Marisa Miller Excessive Sweating at the Beach

Can you believe that you’re looking at a thirty year old sweaty woman? Yeah, life isn’t fair. Life is harsh and unremitting in it’s brutality and then you get old and wish there was more life left… But there are wondrous things such as Marissa Miller who’s appeared on every issue of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issues for the last six years. Perspiration pits Barbie has also recently topped Maxim’s list of world’s sexiest women, beating Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel and other celebrity babes…

Sweaty Marisa Miller is joining Victoria’s Secret’s all-star team as its latest fully accessorized and talented beauty. Fellow team members include sweat inducing Alessandra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima, and Karolina Kurkova among many other too hot for porn sweaty beauties…

This perfume thing is perspiration pits Marisa Miller’s first adventure with Victoria’s Secret as Very Sexy Dare will be on sale at Victoria’s Secret flagship store in New York in September of this year… We wonder if it smells like Barbie plastic and sweat? We kind of hope that it smell like Marissa Miller sweating after a long bikini jog on the beach… Bloggers can dream, right?

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Oh look, we’re exporting sweating comedy bombs to Australia!

Ah, sweaty Jack black, you do however have many a redeeming performance, first there’s of course, your band, Tenacious D, secondly, the movie, School of Rock, and lastly, countless other small performances here and there on TV and in movies.

Does it all balance out, yeah, we guess… Sometimes we just like to hate on someone, usually someone really sweaty, but Jack Black, you’re just alright, and we can live with that.

Now if we found out you’re a greedy, little boy molesting Republican, well, we’ll start the hate machine up real fast…

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