Excessive sweating for excessive people: Celebrity Sweating » Shoulder Sweating

Brah Inspiration, Owen Wilson Rackets Up the Sweating

Excessive Sweating — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 12:32:30 +0000

Excessively Sweaty Owen Wilson

Oh Wes Anderson darling, sweaty Owen Wilson, you have that natural talent of playing you, so well… Because in every movie, you’re basically that guy, Owen Wilson, yeah, that guy again. That guy with the oddly mesmerizing nose.

But it’s really okay, because your one character is really sort of charming. Yeah, really, it’s no sweat. Who cares about range when you have consistency? Who cares about sweating? We do.

So really, keep doing what your doing, Mr. Owen Wilson, it’s vaguely entertaining and somewhat comforting in a flatter-your-own-intelligence-like-way, exactly like a Wes Anderson movie, except without the antique but colorful palette.

More Owen Wilson indie cred excessive sweating below:

Does Owen Wilson Nose About His Excessive Sweat?

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Maria Kirilenko Floods Her Stella McCartney Top with Russian Tennis Babe Sweating

Excessive Sweating — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:30:37 +0000

We know, we’re bad people, sweat-obsessed bad people, and maybe even a little weird. So whatcha gonna do?Â Write your congressman?Â We thought so.Â So we’re going to pollute your rivers and wells and sell you over priced bottled water, oh wait, sorry, wrong transcript…Â So what we’re really going to do is keep writing about extra sweaty celebrities, because it floats our boat damn it, and obviously it floatsÂ yours, as our readership keeps on growing and growing like the world’s oceans from global warming.Â It’s inevitable.Â There’s no stopping us.Â So we offer today’s tasty morsel of excessive perspiration and example of antiperspirant ineffectiveness, sweaty Maria Kirilenko.

Yes, we know, obviously anyone would sweat buckets if they’re playing professional tennis or any tennis for that matter, and you’re probably thinking that documenting sexy sweaty tennis stars is like shooting fish in a bucket for us at Celebrity Sweating.Â Well, we like shooting, fish and buckets, so we’re okay with that, so let us continue…Sweaty Maria Kirilenko continues the tragic stereotype of the hot, sweaty, russian tennis star, please, have pity on her.Â All sarcasm aside, Maria Kirilenko is best friends with the other sweaty Maria, Maria Sharapova.Â Get thoseÂ sweaty threesome images out of your head, you’re filthy, and also quite normal (that’s the first thing we thought of as well).Â Too bad there aren’t any threesomes in tennis.Â Sigh*

Sweaty Maria Kirilenko, while not as successful as early on in her career as Maria Sharapova was, has some fierce potential as she has been upsetting some world-class tennis pros in the last few years in various matches.Â And well, she looks great on the court, what more could you want in tennis?Â We’re going to likey long time this somewhat new star on the women’s pro tennis horizon…

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Old White Guy Fred Thompson Sweats Like an Old Man with a Young Wife

Excessive Sweating — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 11:00:20 +0000

Slightly charming, and really sweaty white guy survives Washington and Hollywood to become, well, an old white guy with a trophy wife. It’s a classic story for the ages, we know! We’re heart breakingly-brilliant writers here at Celebrity Sweating (if you didn’t already hear).

What say you? You don’t remember who this sweaty old dude is? Well, he’s was that one-time hope for the Republican Party to breathe some, um, life, into the 2007 Republican presidential primary season. His entrance into the race amounted to the equivalent of someone dropping a turd into a punchbowl at prom. It caused a splash at first, but it’s still a turd, and an old, sweaty turd it is, but it still floats!

What can we say about excessive sweating Fred Thompson? Well, he helped take down Nixon for starters, so he’s not all bad… However, he has also helped transition the United States of America into the United Corporations against everyone else, as we are now pretty much a nation ruled by those who are in turn, ruled by huge multi-national conglomerates. We are not paranoid, we are informed, and also a really sweaty and nervous about the future.

Thank you Fred Thompson and all of the Democrats and Republicans for selling us all out for the last 30 years, and we welcome our new corporate overlords.

(Oh, and by the way, we sort of changed our minds about Obama, FISA has totally killed our hope for the future, we’re buying land in some remote, hot and sweaty 3rd world country)

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Plastic-Faced Madonna, Is a Sweaty Irrelevant Mess

Excessive Sweating — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 12:19:18 +0000

Some people really need to get over themselves, some people like the sweaty mess below. Some people like perspired Madonna, who’s spent more money on plastic surgery than most people spend on college. Premenopausal Madonna (possibly menopausal) is truly menopausal in the ideas department lately. All we can say is that her new album sucks, not as much as her last two albums but really, it’s not worth the plastic it’s printed on or the time it takes to download. The best thing for everyone would be if Madonna just melted away in a pool of her own sweat, honestly, have some dignity woman.

What is with musicians and popstars today? Every time they need to prove themselves they work “together” with other talent, in this case, douche bag Justin Timberlake, so that they can come out with the best album ever! (Sarcasm) It didn’t work for Michael Jackson, and it hasn’t worked for anyone since…

Check out the video for “4 Minutes.”

Click here to view the embedded video.

What the hell is this song about? What’s with Justin’s fake Michael Jackson vocals? Toss us the extra strength antiperspirant because we’re drenched with a kind of angry excessive sweating frustration. Sweaty Madonna, just fade away, quickly… Like the Clintons, you used to be so cool, now you’re just a miserable failure tainting your former glory… And the sucking doesn’t end with music, sweaty Madonna has to prove she sucks in all art forms…

Remember “Filth and Wisdom?” Yeah, Madonna, get back in the limousine, and drive far away where you can’t prove how much more you suck with any further embarrassments.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Sorry about that, yeah, we know, it’s like Madonna sweat all the cool out of herself and can’t figure out what’s interesting anymore.

For more sweaty Madonna posts:

Why is Madonna Sweating
Excessive Madonna, Sweats Excessively in Her Old Age

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Sweaty Eva Longoria’s Perspiring Stardom Sweats it Out on the Spanish Beaches

Excessive Sweating — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 10:00:26 +0000

Walking and breathing proof that celebrities are mostly boring people, sweaty, beach-loving, Eva Longoria or Eva Longoria Parker, spends some time perspiring on the beaches of Spain. Looking like your average, skinny attractive girl, Eva Longoria got some hot, sweating, pics taken.

NBA arm candy and desperate housewife, Eva Longoria likes to sweat it out on the beach and we have the pics to prove it… Press on the thumbs, for larger, sweatier images.

That’s all we really have to say, she’s kind of a normal person, very little drama, with a humble Mexican Catholic upbringing. It’s sad but normal equals boring in the celebrity world, damn you Eva Longoria, why couldn’t you have a sex tape or something? Thank god for the sweaty pics.

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