There’s something about sweaty Jesse McCartney that reminds us of microwaved pizza leftovers, we can’t quite place it… We know that pizza juice comes to the top when you nuke it, sort of like Jesse’s excessive sweating, but that’s not fully it… Well, it will all probably get glossed over in post-production or Photoshop anyways, whatever it is.
Yeah, we know, we really have no mercy for sweaty celebrities. But hey, they signed up for the attention damn it and we’re only human, no one notices our sweating, while, they are, well, celebrities which are sort of like mini-gods, except no one goes to war over celebrities (unless of course, you count Word War One, that’s an entirely other student research paper, we’re not going there) and they again, signed up to be mini-gods. Neither Jesus, Buddha, the Hindu gods or Muhammad signed up, they were all sort of called to duty, no bull, really. Well, Muhammad is sort of a grey area, but we’d rather not sweat our days worrying about death threats, so we’ll just work on some Muhammad comics.
There ain’t no sunglasses that can cool that there sweaty swamp mess, but there be plenty O’computers that can fix that face and make that voice palatable for taste-challenged teenage girls everywhere (and some boys)… Talentless popstars, not just in America, but mostly so…
Welcome to America, however, be careful, we might imprison you for no reason without a trial or turn you into popstar with screaming teenage girls running after you where ever you go, but most likely, we’ll just ignore you altogether, just try not to sweat it out too much…
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