Excessive Perspiration and Post-Production, The Story of Jesse McCartney

There’s something about sweaty Jesse McCartney that reminds us of microwaved pizza leftovers, we can’t quite place it… We know that pizza juice comes to the top when you nuke it, sort of like Jesse’s excessive sweating, but that’s not fully it… Well, it will all probably get glossed over in post-production or Photoshop anyways, whatever it is.

Sweaty Jesse McCartney Reminds Us of Pizza Leftovers

Yeah, we know, we really have no mercy for sweaty celebrities. But hey, they signed up for the attention damn it and we’re only human, no one notices our sweating, while, they are, well, celebrities which are sort of like mini-gods, except no one goes to war over celebrities (unless of course, you count Word War One, that’s an entirely other student research paper, we’re not going there) and they again, signed up to be mini-gods. Neither Jesus, Buddha, the Hindu gods or Muhammad signed up, they were all sort of called to duty, no bull, really. Well, Muhammad is sort of a grey area, but we’d rather not sweat our days worrying about death threats, so we’ll just work on some Muhammad comics.

Excessive Perspiration and Post-Production, The Story of Jesse McCartney

There ain’t no sunglasses that can cool that there sweaty swamp mess, but there be plenty O’computers that can fix that face and make that voice palatable for taste-challenged teenage girls everywhere (and some boys)… Talentless popstars, not just in America, but mostly so…

Sweaty Sausage, Not Pizza, But Relevant Nonetheless

Welcome to America, however, be careful, we might imprison you for no reason without a trial or turn you into popstar with screaming teenage girls running after you where ever you go, but most likely, we’ll just ignore you altogether, just try not to sweat it out too much…

This entry was posted in Boy Band Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, Failing Popster Sweat, Neck Sweating, Pizza Face Sweating, Sweaty Armpits. Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

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  1. By Zolpidem fedex. on July 8, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    Zolpidem fedex….

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