Kelly Osbourne, Remember The Alamo?

‘What you say?’ does Kelly Osbourne have to do with the Alamo? Nothing really, except that her dad peed on the Alamo and caused ‘some kinda ruckus’ down there in Texas. We tried to think of something, really we did, for like a super long time… Anyways, Kelly Osbourne has some kinda sweating problem and in general, the Osbournes just aren’t good with their fluids.

Kelly Osbourne Satanic Sweat

Daddy pees on a national and historical landmark wearing his wife’s dress and now “666″ seems to be appearing on the very macho bricks of, um, what was that building? Oh, we forget, sorry Texas. The Daughter continues the family tradition by screwing up really expensive designer dresses by leaving heavy sweat stains (and of course, by eating too many HoHos)… Those Osbournes, always leaving the “mark of the beast,” everywhere they go. Remember the antiperspirant! That should be Kelly Osbourne’s rallying cry!

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7 Comments

  1. Hyperhidrosis Star
    Posted April 22, 2007 at 2:10 pm | Permalink

    I shoulda really never of been famous proves it with her extreme sweating. Dude, like your dad can eat live animals on stage but you can’t lose weight? And you can’t find a good deodorant or antiperspirant? It’s one thing to want to be famous but it’s another thing to actually be prepared for fame and you washed up ashore, talentless and sweaty. Go back to the ocean.

  2. GirlieSweat
    Posted May 21, 2007 at 5:37 pm | Permalink

    no, hyperstar, she needs to go back to the barn cause she sweats like a PIG!

    kelly, have you heard? antiperspirant makes your clothes stay the color they were meant to be! no, all the armpits of you clothes shouldn’t match each other in yellowish-brown hue! it’s normal to have sweating problems but you should look into an antiperspirant strong enough for a pig!

  3. Guy wit Sweating Problem
    Posted July 20, 2007 at 2:23 pm | Permalink

    Hilarious post, I never knew that Ozzy pissed on the Alamo wearing his wife’s dress, that’s just too funny for words.

    However, I guess that Ozzy did ‘remember the Alamo,’ just in his own special way. Nice sweating pics of his daughter, man, get a trainer young woman, jesus.

  4. Tracey
    Posted September 9, 2007 at 3:42 am | Permalink

    I’m confused. Smaller people don’t sweat? You people are too f’ing weird for words.

  5. Em
    Posted December 22, 2007 at 6:14 pm | Permalink

    …..You guys are idiots. I agree with Tracy. Smaller people do sweat. and She *has* already lost a lot of weight. why should she lose weight if she likes how she looks? being skinny isn’t everything. and if it is to you, then you are just pathetic. Lay off her, people.

  6. Posted May 8, 2008 at 5:22 pm | Permalink

    no comment, this is hilerous haha
    maybe the osburnes want to read a book of mine just released. Devil’s Conversations by Marlene Thornton

    http://www.amazon.com/Devils-Conversation-Marlene-Thornton/dp/1436308992/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1210295928&sr=8-1

    I think the osburnes would make great characters in a movie with some of my short stories in it.

  7. Joki
    Posted July 5, 2009 at 10:46 pm | Permalink

    Kelly musst nicht traurig sein, “nasse Flecken” sind doch schön und völlig feminin ….. wenns heiß her geht, na und …. ??

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