Completely sane, authentic and lovable, Tom Cruise sweats an embargo by the country of Germany. The Germans just don’t understand Scientology or why Tom Cruise is perspiring excessively lately (probably because his whole life is a frick’n sham?).
Jumping on couches, arranging fake marriages and magically spawning children really isn’t what it used to be. We think Tom Cruise is unraveling, and he’s showing it by sweating excessively, especially under his sweaty alien armpits. Tom Cruise needs to go back to the Scientology home world to recharge his batteries and shake off the rejection by the “sour krauts.”
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[...] the Beckhams entered America with an allstar sweaty freakout, taking excessively perspiring Tom Cruise away from his trouble with the Germans. Get some treatment Tom, at least for your explosive sweating, think of the children sweaty Tom. [...]