Old White Guy Fred Thompson Sweats Like an Old Man with a Young Wife

Slightly charming, and really sweaty white guy survives Washington and Hollywood to become, well, an old white guy with a trophy wife. It’s a classic story for the ages, we know! We’re heart breakingly-brilliant writers here at Celebrity Sweating (if you didn’t already hear).

When Old People Leak, Fred Thompson Sweats Losing

What say you? You don’t remember who this sweaty old dude is? Well, he’s was that one-time hope for the Republican Party to breathe some, um, life, into the 2007 Republican presidential primary season. His entrance into the race amounted to the equivalent of someone dropping a turd into a punchbowl at prom. It caused a splash at first, but it’s still a turd, and an old, sweaty turd it is, but it still floats!

What can we say about excessive sweating Fred Thompson? Well, he helped take down Nixon for starters, so he’s not all bad… However, he has also helped transition the United States of America into the United Corporations against everyone else, as we are now pretty much a nation ruled by those who are in turn, ruled by huge multi-national conglomerates. We are not paranoid, we are informed, and also a really sweaty and nervous about the future.

Thank you Fred Thompson and all of the Democrats and Republicans for selling us all out for the last 30 years, and we welcome our new corporate overlords.

(Oh, and by the way, we sort of changed our minds about Obama, FISA has totally killed our hope for the future, we’re buying land in some remote, hot and sweaty 3rd world country)

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