Look at this sweaty motherf#!ker, he used to be the shit, he was in The Godfather series for the love of god. Look at him, just look at that spot of extreme sweating, this is what’s left of a kick-ass life in Hollywood. Sweating in your frick’n pink golf pants. Rad dude, rad.
We’ve truly found a sweaty national treasure, and her name is Melanie Adams and unless her dad or mother are kitten-stompers or works for the source-of-all-evil, Halliburton, they can’t be any worse than Allison Stokke’s father. This sensually sweaty young woman’s relationship to poles has taken her to high places and she seems to enjoy the excessive perspiration look, we certainly don’t have any complaints (maybe she can be just a little sweatier?). Who knew pole vaulting is such a beautiful, sweaty sport?
Somethings are not to be understood, so it’s no use to sweat about them. One of these things is sexed-up sweaty British advertising. In a crowning achievement for mankind everywhere, Lynx, otherwise known as Axe in the United States, has had a long-running deodorant ad campaign that is just plain retarded. Granted, perspiring pretty girls can sell a lot of things, but does anyone really need a body spray to cover up whatever sweaty smell or body odor they have? I mean, doesn’t antiperspirant and cologne do a good enough job already? Well we guess someone at Unilever, the corporation that makes Lynx and Axe, agrees, and so of course, there is also Lynx and Axe antiperspirant for both men and women in varying forms, scents and packages.
We’re not complaining about the sexy, excessive sweat inducing advertisements, we’re just bitching about the ideas. Look below, is this dweeb like you? He’s not like anyone we know, thank god.
Blast from the fabulous past, super sweating Helena Christensen of supermodel yore, circa the 90′s, seems to suffer from excessive sweating in red. Honestly, we suffer from excessive sweating when we see Helena Christensen in red. The former Miss Denmark 1986, Helena Christensen was recently put back into the spotlight for being on her way to Heath Ledger’s place on the day of his recent death. What a “Wicked Game” life is.
Can People Magazine suck more? We dare not think about it as this fine specimen of questionable sweaty celebrity is their Sexiest Man Alive. In his life-long role as sweaty and slightly gay frat-guy douche bag, Matthew McConaughey is the poor man’s male lead in every respect. Name a truly memorable role by this guy, we can’t. This guy has the on screen charisma of Chia Pet. Is this a huge inside joke by People Magazine?
Excessive sweating never looked as mediocre. However sweaty and uninspiring this guy’s career is, he seems to score with the celebrity babes: Sandra Bullock, Ashley Judd, Salli Richardson, and Penelope Cruz. He’s currently dating super babe, Brazilian Camila Alves. For more sweaty douche bag behavior, continue reading…
One of our all-time personal heros is Gary Busey. The man has it all, he keeps himself dry and sweat free while on his pulpit preaching his way unto the world. No sweat Gary Busey has a sort of zen-like loud dignity to his presence. Blessed with an aging face that only a meth addict can relate to, Gary Busey brings forth his brand of cowboy spiritualism unto the world with awe-inspiring reckless abandon.
In the world of Gary Busey, we are all just surfaces to possibly snort coke off of, no matter how excessively sweaty we might be or what sweaty species we might be:
Excessive sweating sufferer and gravity-challenged, Kelly Osbourne has the souls of mediocre rockers hidden inside her giant hair. It’s literally a graveyard of hair metal bands and jilted dreams circling around a vortex of white makeup, weight-loss schemes and past sweaty reality-TV glory.
You didn’t know sweaty Kelly Osbourne was in Spaceballs, did you? Yes, she was one of the Goth Nerd Lords, the worst of the sweaty Siths.
Armpit sweat challenged Melanie C, Mel C or otherwise known as Sporty Spice, has a bout of the performance underarm excessive sweating. Perhaps she’s sweating being constantly around Scary Spice or thinking about why the lone black Spice Girl is called Scary Spice in the first place… Maybe she should ask Eddie Murphy?
Sweaty Barbie doll and popstar bird, Rachel Stevens excessive sweats like she just found out that she has to do another Men’s Health commercial (Everyman Testicular Cancer Awareness campaign).
Why are the UK versions of talentless popstars so charming and likable? And it’s not just the accent… Even if they’re all sweaty, they seem like a class apart from the likes of Britney Spears, Hillary Duff and Avril Lavigne. Is it that famous British wit?
Hairline-challenged, super-actor Tom Hanks gushes sweat in a bike ride around what is seemingly suburbia. Sweaty Tom hanks has been involved to this date in 18 films that have grossed over 100 million, bringing his total to around the 3.3 billion dollar amount. We’re perspiring heavily just thinking about that number.
Is that Jordan’s silicone implants leaking through her wet armpits? We don’t really understand the UK, or the relevance of the sweaty woman below, but we do know she’s some kind of famous and that she obviously has an excessive sweating problem, and to us, that’s all that matters. Okay, for us sweaty bloggers, the perspiration context does matter too. Sweating Jordan, now prefering to be called Katie Price when not modeling, is a busy body of sort, who constantly is putting herself, and sometimes all of her sweaty naked parts, in the public eye.
Check, collared shiny club shirt, checked.
Check blue jeans, checked.
Check excessive sweating armpit, checked.
Check wussy douchebag, checked.
Pavement muncher, sweaty Jesse Metcalfe is your typical Hollywood douchebag, not an extraordinary douche bag, but a typical one. Better known as sweaty MILF meat from Desperate Housewives, Jesse Metcalfe exudes typical club guy. Pay attention to exhibit B below:
Excessive sweating, Franken-Boob, Tara the Terror Reid, sweat stains dresses and basically performs the social equivalent of farting everywhere she goes… Simply charming, indeed Miss Reid. This little blonde, sweaty pimple on the face of the celebrity world has been popped for quite some time (not just talking about her botched boob job). What we’re seeing now is the leftover sweaty ooze of a completely talentless celebrity in pick-up-the-pieces mode, just trying to do damage control for the rest of her so-called career, squeaking out jobs and appearances where she can…
Godless, chubby, and excessively sweaty heathen Christopher Hitchens sweats like some kind of hell-bound demon in its last sweaty throes on earth. We love Christopher Hitchens even with his possible hyperhidrosis. In his interviews, there’s a whole lot of British condescension, a whole lot of drinking and a dash of wit that peppers Mr. Hitchens god-hating rhetoric. He’s sort of the anti-Santa Claus, Jolly but baby jesus hating.
God might not be great, but does he, she or it sweat like Christopher Hitchens while signing books?
Extremely sweaty but slightly better than mediocre tennis star, Anna Kournikova hasn’t been getting much if any attention lately. So we think it’s really the beginning of the end of her sweaty, glistening stardom. In some respects, it’s more of the end, but what a reflective, sweaty end it is…
We have no idea, no idea whatsoever why sweaty, glistening Hilary Duff is a popstar rather than a stripper, well, we at Celebrity Sweating have some idea… It’s probably because sweaty teenage girls and boys are basically retarded adults with huge amounts of disposable income and that hot-perspiration-action, Hilary Dudd, can sing just generically enough and is annoyingly pretty enough to inspire some sort of interest.
Sweaty and hot, Hilary is in Brazil on some sort of tour…
After being forced to watch her music videos, we have a few things to say.
Here at Celebrity Sweating, we kind of feel a little vulnerable after being hacked last week (you sweaty bastards, whoever you are)… So we figured that if we siphoned off a little toughness off of Chuck Norris, and a lot of sweat, that we’d be alright. So here are some sweaty Chuck Norris facts!
The active ingredient in red bull is Chuck Norris sweat – 10%
Chuck Norris is so Hot he makes The Devil sweat!
Chuck Norris’s sweat has burned holes in concrete.
Chuck Norris is made of 94% perspiration, 4% electricity and 2% butterscotch ripple.
The Brits seem to live in a weird parallel, but similar universe compared to us Americans, but they have their share of excessive sweating celebrities… Meet sweaty Charlie Brooks:
Perspiring Charlene Brooks was born in Barmouth, Gwynedd, Wales in 1981. At the age of 16, sweaty teenage Charlie Brooks moved to London to study acting, and of course, to become a star.
She was studying for her A Levels when she was given her big break as spoilt and bitchy teenager Janine Butcher. Before this, Miss Sweaty Brooks had appeared briefly in Jonathan Creek, The Demon Headmaster, London’s Burning, and the testing and training ground of many a British actor, The Bill.
Armpit-sweating-challenged Efren Ramirez of Napolean Dynamite minor famedom is really sweating a lot for being a one hit wonder. Currently touring more as a celebrity dj than working in film or TV, Efren or Pedro, if you will, looks very likable here, however sweaty that he is…
Alecia Beth Moore, otherwise known as Pink, or seen here as a sweaty armpit gray, is still showing her white authenticity by breaking a major sweat. She’s such a hard wrapper that one. The excessively sweaty R&B star perspires like that freaky girl in the co-op that doesn’t wear antiperspirant and is constantly reading Karl Marx (and pretends that she understands it).
Vivaplex is the only stretch mark cream that uses a dual-action system incorporating both a lotion and a creme. This enables it to maximize the pH compatibility of all of its rich and healthy components.
Recent Pregnant Hollywood Celebrity Baby Posts
Obama Sweats Gracefully as Only Future Qualified Presidents Can
Sweaty Barack Obama sweats some b-ball with Bryant Gumble and HBO Sports, in truly presidential form.
How can you not love this sweaty bastard? We say that with much love, of course. This guy sounds like the voice of God, capitol sweaty G that is. Frankly, unless there’s a momentus or tragic event, he’s more than likely going to be our next president. A snail or any spineless creature would be an improvement over the current idiot-clown president, but Barack Obama is a gift that this nervous and excessively sweaty nation needs. The ol’ US of A is going through some really rough times, we don’t need any more sweaty, dirty corporate whores in the White House (no offense Hillary & John).
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