Sweating and Swearing, Alec Baldwin Smiles, Hiding the Ferocious Terror Within

By Excessive Sweating | Published: April 23, 2007

Alec Baldwin is an angry, sweaty and steaming man who says, “I’ve made an ass, of myself,” reportedly for the “last time,” in his daughter’s voicemail. Some how, we really don’t think this is the last time… TMZ has a

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of sweaty Alec going bananas addressing his eleven year old daughter (maybe twelve year old, sweaty Alec doesn’t know). Even we’re sweaty with embarassement for Alec Baldwin.

Sweating and Swearing, Alec Baldwin Smiles, Hiding the Terror Within

We’re sweating like “rude, thoughtless little pig(s)” at the thought of receiving voicemails like this.

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That’s no way to win a custody battle Alec. Seriously, get some real antiperspirant, calm down and think about bribing your daughter’s love instead of going all Iraq on her. Save the quagmire for the third or second world Alec, don’t sweat it out with your own daughter, if not for Christ’s sake, for her sake! Think about taking her to Disneyland or Magic Mountain and sweat it out with her in a good way.

Peace Alec Baldwin, Peace out bro.

Posted in Alec Baldwin Sweating, Angry Celebrity Sweating, Celebrity Excessive Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, Sweaty Celebrity Parenting | 4 Comments

Where Streets Have No Sweat, Bono Wants to Take Shelter from Himself

By Excessive Sweating | Published: April 17, 2007

Thick pockets Bono, who’s band was once half of Ireland’s economy, is excessively sweating while talking to an old, rich white dude with money (probably). Oh Mr. Successful Capitalist, important old white dude, give my organization some money, please, and excuse my extreme arena rock sweating!

Bono Kissing Ass and Sweating Excessively

Needy palms Bono, who has never been documented giving any of his own money away for anything, needs some serious antiperspirant for all the serious issues he’s working on around the world. You’d think this globe-trotting superstar could send an assistant out to go by some antiperspirant for his excessive sweating. Possibly some “Red” antiperspirant. Now that’s an idea baby, pass on some red sunglasses Bono to Celebrity Sweating…

Africa called, stop using the whole continent as a vehicle for your personal sweaty martyrdom, it’s been done and by the way, there are many countries in Africa and some of them are doing fine Mr. Bono.

Posted in Bono Sweating, Celebrity Excessive Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, Philanthropist Perspiration, Star Hyperhidrosis, Sweaty Star, U2, U2 Sweating | 5 Comments

Grey’s Sweaty Anatomy, Katherine Heigl Highlights Her Assets

By Excessive Sweating | Published: April 16, 2007

Dr. Izzy Stevens, Glamazon with intent, Katherine Heigl, has some leaky fun bags or some sweaty “sugar tits,” as everyone’s favorite creepy religious uncle, Mel Gibson likes to say. It’s like super tough to be at the Emmys and negotiate contracts with networks after you’ve become one of TV’s it girls.

Grey’s Sweaty Anatomy, Katherine Heigl Highlights Her Assets

Word of wisdom girlfriend, get some excessive sweating antiperspirant, especially if you’re in contract negotiations. No one likes mystery sweat, no matter what the source, well, some people do but we’re not gonna go there girl… Get your sweaty white anatomy under control! But we’re really not complaining about the sweat, you wear it well.

Posted in Celebrity Excessive Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, Inconvenient Sweating, Katherine Heigl Sweating, Star Hyperhidrosis, Sweaty Boobs, Sweaty Star | 6 Comments

Is Jessica Simpson Hiding Her Sweating with Big Sweaters?

By Excessive Sweating | Published: April 15, 2007

US Magazine reports that last year, during the last throes of a sweaty, hot summer and the early beginnings of a warm fall, miss born to be desktop wallpaper, Jessica Simpson wore some rather curious clothes. What dare say, is Miss Simpson hiding? Well, after seeing her significance-seeking, antiperspirant-busting sister, Ashlee Simpson in concert, we have some ideas…

An Almost Too Modest and Discreet Jessica Simpson

Does Jessica Simpson have a sweating problem? We haven’t found any conclusive evidence yet. However, in the meantime, we offer these pics of one Jessica Simpson all lubed and sweaty for the camera. Just a hint at what this sweating human Barbie could look like underneath the sweaters…

Jessica Simpson’s Sweaty Boobs for the Camera

The Simpson sisters just somehow look good sweating, even if it’s just for the camera or at the pool, notice exhibit B below:

Jessica Simpson, Hot, Sweaty and Very Bothering

Human Barbie, Ex-Nick Lachey Stocking, Jessica Simpson is hot, sweaty and very bothering…

Posted in Camera Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, Jessica Simpson Sweating, Sexy Sweating, Sweaty Activities, Sweaty Star | 7 Comments

Britney Spears Auditions for 3 Roles in a Modern Remake of the Adams Family

By Excessive Sweating | Published: April 8, 2007

Retarded distant southern relative, who’s jail bait, excessively sweating “Cousin It” who’s pregnant and a meaningless “Uncle Fester” are the roles that are destined for sweaty, has-been Britney.

Oh Britney, why must you constantly turn “white trash wins lottery” into a modern day ‘bible of fame?’ And you’d think, with unlimited money, time and means you could at least keep your sweating at bay, or hidden at the least…

Britney Spears Sweaty Shapeshifting Alien from Louisiana

Britney Spears levee’s have totally busted and we are awash in the sweaty sess pool and the aftermath of a life less thought through but of a life over-pampered and falsely advertised. Oh Britney, you sweaty ex-teen star, you sold and advertised your virginity for Stardom and now that reality has settled in, you’re a hairless, sweaty and needy falling star.

Your infamous former husband Kevin Federline has fallen with more grace and less public sweating then you. You, like New Orleans, were both shiny stars that have become disasters made from false advertising and foolish pretenses. The levees broke and the lies have ultimately turned into tragedies. Now we are drowning in a flood of ‘white trash wins lottery.’

Posted in Britney Spears Sweating, Celebrity Excessive Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, Inconvenient Sweating, Kevin Federline, Star Hyperhidrosis, Sweaty Star | 4 Comments

Snort Paris Hilton’s Sweat-Proof Armpits

By Excessive Sweating | Published: April 6, 2007

In an update to our recent post, “Paris Hilton Really Likes Flaky White Stuff,” we’ve found this pic of the fiercely deodorized Hilton armpit. Weird party, huh Paris?

Paris Hilton Totally Deodorized

There’s either an antiperspirant party in Paris Hilton’s armpits or this is Paris’ truly charming and inspired way of hiding her ‘Columbian.’ Coke makes us feel dry too Paris.

(Paris tells us that’s it’s “fair-trade” powder, only “imported by South American middle class virgins.” Well, actually she didn’t tell us that, of course we’re just assuming the best…)

Posted in Celebrity Sweating, Fear of Sweat, Paris Hilton, Tacky Deodorant, Tacky Sweat Prevention, White Armpits | 3 Comments

Ashlee Simpson Lip-Synching Sweat

By Excessive Sweating | Published: April 4, 2007

Yes, I would I agree with those who think that Ashlee Simpson looks, like, really good here. One would almost say, ‘glowing’ rather then sweating…

Ashlee Simpson Over Perspiration

Some people can pull off a little excessive sweating here and there, especially those of us who are ‘paid to look good’. Lip-synching is like super hard dude, especially when dancing like a southern-white-trash-prom-queen that’s imitating a Rastafarian on meth. Far fetched description you say? Check out the evidence below from her infamous Saturday Night Live PR disaster.

A sweaty southern-white-trash-prom-queen that’s imitating a Rastafarian on meth… Convinced yet or have our powers of desciption gone too far? Or perhaps, not far enough?

Sweating Ashlee Simpson is real you all! About as real as all of those energy industry scientists who claim that global warming doesn’t exist.

Posted in Ashlee Simpson Sweating, Celebrity Excessive Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, Lip-Synch Sweat, Performance Sweating, Star Hyperhidrosis, Sweaty Star | 10 Comments

Paris Hilton Really Likes Flaky White Stuff

By Excessive Sweating | Published: April 2, 2007

As we have reported in our very first Celebrity Sweating post, Paris Hilton has a certain fear of sweating, specifically, other people’s perspiration (OPP if you want to be Hip Hop about it). But now it seems she really needs to pound the antiperspirant or deodorant on for fear of her very own perspiration. Oh Paris, what’s with you and the flaky white stuff?

Paris Hilton Flaky Armpits

This instance of heavy sweat prevention was first reported by Splash News and then by TMZ both on August 17th of 2006. Paris, don’t be afraid of sweat, it’s really not that different from…

And we all know you like the flaky white stuff, but go a little lighter next time and keep yourself hydrated, that stuff will dry you out yo.

Posted in Celebrity Sweating, Fear of Sweat, Paris Hilton, Tacky Sweat Prevention | 4 Comments

Multi-Billion Dollar Fratboy Nerd Steve Ballmer Has a Sweating / Image Problem

By Excessive Sweating | Published: March 29, 2007

Okay, so if you like have unlimited money and certainly, a lot of power, you’d think that you could control at least your sweating in public no? And certainly you could control your perspiration while talking to employees of one of the biggest companies in the world? Well, it seems when ‘over-lording’ over fellow nerds, Steve Ballmr just can’t control anything, especially his over sweating…

Microsoft Ape Overlord Sweating

Microsoft has a huge image problem and the Steve Ballmer viral videos just aren’t helping. The below video basically proves that yes, indeed, we do come from monkeys (sweaty monkeys even), some of us more so then others…

Here’s the sweaty monkey part. Notice the scowl and concentration on his face. Can you say faulty programming? Can you say, restart the computer? We think if people didn’t start clapping, sweaty Steve would of started throwing major feces. Developers!

Microsoft, a monopoly of sweaty fools. Developers!

NOTE: Yes, billion-dollar perspiring nerds are celebrities, especially today with the culture of dispersed media and a very powerful internet (or ‘internets’ as your local Republican representative would say).

Posted in Angry Nerd Ape Sweat, Celebrity Sweating, Corporate Perspiration, Microsoft CEO Sweat, Nerd Sweating, Steve Ballmer Perspiration | 3 Comments

Kelly Osbourne, Remember The Alamo?

By Excessive Sweating | Published: March 26, 2007

‘What you say?’ does Kelly Osbourne have to do with the Alamo? Nothing really, except that her dad peed on the Alamo and caused ‘some kinda ruckus’ down there in Texas. We tried to think of something, really we did, for like a super long time… Anyways, Kelly Osbourne has some kinda sweating problem and in general, the Osbournes just aren’t good with their fluids.

Kelly Osbourne Satanic Sweat

Daddy pees on a national and historical landmark wearing his wife’s dress and now “666″ seems to be appearing on the very macho bricks of, um, what was that building? Oh, we forget, sorry Texas. The Daughter continues the family tradition by screwing up really expensive designer dresses by leaving heavy sweat stains (and of course, by eating too many HoHos)… Those Osbournes, always leaving the “mark of the beast,” everywhere they go. Remember the antiperspirant! That should be Kelly Osbourne’s rallying cry!

Posted in Celebrity Excessive Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, Expensive Sweating, Inconvenient Sweating, Kelly Osbourne Sweating, Ruining Clothes, Sweaty Star | 8 Comments

Anna Kournikova Extreme Workout Sweat

By Excessive Sweating | Published: March 21, 2007

Anna Kournikova should use her excess sweating in her first talent, guy magazine photo shoots.

Anna Kournikova Workout Sweat

Psuedo tennis star, accidental celebrity Anna Kournikova was spotted recently after some sort of rigorous workout excessively sweating. The “talented” tennis underachiever can really let some fluids out. However, hot Russian heavy sweating is somewhat excused, she is an athlete, however underperforming she is in that arena (ah, but there’s a difference between ‘glowing’ and well, being all wet…)

Posted in Anna Kournikova Sweating, Celebrity Athlete Sweating, Celebrity Excessive Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, Russian Tennis Star Sweat | 4 Comments

Britney Spears Leakage

By Excessive Sweating | Published: March 19, 2007

Britney Spears just can’t keep anything inside. Britney’s “inner turmoil” is ‘busting out’ in every which way that is practically possible. We don’t think she needs a posh treatment center, she needs a spiritual physicist of sorts to get her sweating and wayward particles aligned and most importantly, contained.

Busting-Out Chubs Britney Spears Leaking Boobs

In an April of 2006 posting, Hollywood Backwash blogged about one ready-to-be-harvested fat chicken, AKA, one Britney Spears leaving from a dance studio with major boob sweat, excessive boob sweat. Perhaps it was the Venti Starbucks drink, whatever it may be, Britney dollface, move away and get lost, you’re time is over and for everyone’s sake, use some good antiperspirant for your excessive sweating.

Posted in Britney Spears Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, Inconvenient Sweating, Sweaty Boobs, Sweaty Star | 4 Comments

The Sweaty Sex Emperor is Dead, Long Live The Sexy Back Biel

By Excessive Sweating | Published: February 6, 2007

Sweaty sex scandal, maybe, more like sweaty sex cross-promotion.

Cameron Diaz Sweaty Sex Breakup Drama

After reportedly exclaiming the merits of sweaty sex (which we whole-heartedly agree with), miss-ghost-of-romantic-comedies-past, has, how do you say? Been totally dumped. Ever since Sundance 07, people have been talking about make out sessions and condo adventures of one Miss Jessica Biel and one Mr. my-homophobic-friend-dresses-me Justin Timberlake. Doesn’t sound like sweaty sex can solve the problems in this relationship…

‘Sex is the most amazing stress reliever. I actually think it’s the best thing for everything! I think it should be 100 per cent part of everyone’s life on a day-to-day basis. We’d all be a lot happier’, the actress said during the promotion campaign of her latest movie, ‘The Holiday’. Waning star Cameron Diaz then added, “‘I love being physical, I love to get my heart-rate up and I love sweating. Sex is undoubtedly the best way to do that!”

Well, I might sound a bit grown-up here, but obviously sex, not even sweaty sex can solve everything (but it doesn’t hurt, well actually sometimes it…).

Posted in Celebrity Sweating, Performance Sweating, Sweaty Activities, Sweaty Sex | 4 Comments

A River Runs Through Fergie!

By Excessive Sweating | Published: January 22, 2007

Fergie’s a body fluids terrorist in a post 9-11 world! Sweaty Pop Star Terror!

A River of Fergie Sweat

Ferga-licious was sweaty-tastic at a recent concert as reported by many sources. Some say it was, gasp, pee. I speculate it’s an accumulation of some really heavy sweating. It’s really hard to dance, sing and rap, especially when some black guy with a mohawk is singing, possibly rapping by your crotch (and no, we have no experience with this, that’s just what we’ve heard).

Fergie’s got some issues, one them might be a sweating problem.

On follow-up, Fergie’s loose fluids weren’t sweat, it was definitely pee. Ew, like double-ew!

Posted in Celebrity Excessive Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, Fergie Sweating, Inconvenient Sweating, Performance Sweating, Star Hyperhidrosis | 4 Comments

Sweaty Green is the New Pink!

By Excessive Sweating | Published: January 19, 2007

The hills are alive with the sound of heavy sweating!

Sweaty Green Makes Pink

Blonde wrapper, uh, rapper Pink either has a problem lactating on stage or a nasty boob sweating problem… Either way, I think there’s star sweat up there in them there hills and tell you what, it ain’t pretty, it’s Pink.

Pink reportedly got so ‘wrapped’ up in her performance that she lost control of some sweat glands here and there at the Filmore in San Francisco as reported by Perez Hilton. Thems are some sweaty, slippery speed bumps.

Posted in Celebrity Excessive Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, Inconvenient Sweating, Pink Perspiration, Star Hyperhidrosis, Sweaty Boobs | 4 Comments

It’s HOT in the O.C., Even When You’re in New York – Mischa Barton Sweats…

By Excessive Sweating | Published: January 15, 2007

Mischa Barton heavily sweats because she knows her career is over before it’s ever really begun. Celebrity handler? Not even a babysitter for celebrities could fix your career, it’s like totally over.

Mischa Barton’s Star Hyperhidrosis, Ew!

Mischa Barton was wetter than a Slip’n'Slide in New York, but I seriously doubt she was as much fun (but probably gets more use year round). The above pic was taken in the Big Apple on September 10th of 2006. Oh Mischa, first the tampon thing and now the excessive sweating. Being a grown up is like super hard huh? And being a celebrity is probably even harder! Um, sarcasm?

So miss sweat-like-a-lot, dude, take care of yourself brah.

Posted in Celebrity Excessive Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, OC Sweating, Star Hyperhidrosis | 4 Comments

Antiperspirant Company’s Fantasy: Fantasia

By Excessive Sweating | Published: January 12, 2007

She’s one excessively sweaty tootsie roll. Oh sweaty tootsie roll. Fantasia’s training for overly perspiring abject performer of the year.

Fantasia, Fantasy of Sweat

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Posted in Celebrity Excessive Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, Fantasia Sweating, Inconvenient Sweating | 3 Comments

Al Gore’s Most Inconvenient Truth, Sweat?

By Excessive Sweating | Published: January 10, 2007

Al Gore’s got a perspiration problem, and the world is heating up.

Al Gore Three-way

As reported by Jossip,
the former vice president was giving a speech at a book signing when global warming took over Mr. Gore’s forehead, causing monsoon-like perspiration on his forehead and hands…

Jossip later called Gore’s excessive sweating moment, “Brandon Davis-like.” Poor Al Gore, once you go Hollywood, you run the risk of really, really unfair but infinitely funny comparisons… Needless to say, Al’s sweating problem hardly tarnishes the gold plating on his Oscar.

Posted in Al Gore Sweating, Celebrity Sweating, Inconvenient Sweating | 2 Comments

Paris Hilton Table-Top Dances to Stay Away from the Icky Sweating Masses!

By Excessive Sweating | Published: January 9, 2007

Oh the poor sweating zombies, one sweatless, pathetic and soulless dance on table to rule them all!

Paris Dancing the Sweaty Fear Dance!

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Posted in Celebrity Excessive Sweating, Fear of Sweat, Paris Hilton, Table Dancing | 7 Comments

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