Excessive sweating Sammy Hagar could be one of the most mediocre things to ever happen to Rock ‘n’ Roll. The 80′s sweaty version of Avril Lavigne replaced the mythic and amazing David Lee Roth after Van Halen’s other band members kicked him out. Soon after the David Lee Roth departure, Van Halen’s music relevance faded like a hot summer camp friendship, all under excessive sweaty pits Sammy Hagar’s stewardship.

Sweaty Douche Bag Sammy Hagar

How big of a sweaty douche bag is Sammy Hagar?

Sammy Hagar is an avid Republican, supporing and donating to Bush and Cheney in 2003. Yeah, he supports torturers, liers and criminals who steal from ordinary hardworking people, Rock ‘n’ Roll dude! How can one person be such a sweaty douche bag?

See the thing is, David Lee Roth parachuted into a Van Halen concert. That’s right, he landed on stage and then the show started, if that doesn’t make you sweat awesomeness, if that’s not badass, what is? How can any sweaty curly-haired, clown-look-alike think he could replace David Lee Roth? He can’t and didn’t, Van Halen sucked after Roth left and sweaty pits Hagar continues to suck to this day.

That was one of Roth’s big ideas. I’m not even sure why, but he said, ‘Let’s parachute into the (Anaheim) stadium.’ Of course, we couldn’t do it ourselves, so we hired four professional sky divers to to jump out of an airplane before our set. The idea was that we would wear identical gear and run on stage and pretend it was us that jumped out of the plane. So there we were, wearing these crazy, heavy outfits, sweating our balls off, waiting for the sky divers to come down so we could jump on stage. It was silly, and it almost turned into a complete catastrophy, because while we were trying to get out of the gear, Al severely twisted his ankle and had to play the show with practically a broken foot.

Okay, so they didn’t parachute onto stage, but it was still awesome… What did they do during sweaty Sammy Hagar’s tenure? Not much but fade away…

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