Sweaty Goth Clown, Kelly Osbourne Can’t Shake The Persistant Excessive Perspiration

By Excessive Sweating | Published: March 28, 2008

Excessive sweating sufferer and gravity-challenged, Kelly Osbourne has the souls of mediocre rockers hidden inside her giant hair. It’s literally a graveyard of hair metal bands and jilted dreams circling around a vortex of white makeup, weight-loss schemes and past sweaty reality-TV glory.

Sweaty Goth Clown, Kelly Osbourne Can’t Shake The Persistant Perspiration

You didn’t know sweaty Kelly Osbourne was in Spaceballs, did you? Yes, she was one of the Goth Nerd Lords, the worst of the sweaty Siths.

Excessive Sweating Kelly Osbourne was in Spaceballs?

Perspiration plagued Kelly Osbourne is one of those, famous for being famous, contemporary sweaty stars, who roll with what little merits they accrue, staying in the celebrity world longer than they rightfully deserve… Could anyone really ever claim that she would have been as successful as she was (which was not very successful, she was more sucessful at sweating and sweat staining dresses) if she wasn’t on a hugely popular reality TV show? We think not, but then again, who really knows for sure.

Chubby sweat geyser, Kelly Osbourne is set to play the lead in Stephen King’s new Goth Clown Thriller. Word on the street, is that it’s set at the Alamo, in Texas… What was so special about the Alamo again? We forget.

Clowns are Scary, Chubby Sweating Kelly Osbourne is No Exception

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4 Comments

  1. AHH
    Posted March 31, 2009 at 7:15 pm | Permalink

    THATS KELLY OSBOURNE???????????!!!!!!!!!! MOTHER F**KER! SHES UGLY!!! I THOUGHT SHE WAS HOT! BUT NOW SEEING THIS??!!! OH GOD! OH DEAR GOD!

  2. you
    Posted June 1, 2009 at 5:24 am | Permalink

    shes hot!! take that peris and britteny!! none of that tan crap!!! nice!!

  3. you
    Posted June 1, 2009 at 5:26 am | Permalink

    shes hot take that paris and briteny none of that tan crap!!!

  4. you
    Posted October 8, 2010 at 12:30 pm | Permalink

    What? Kelly Osbourne is human? The lies! The deception! I thought she was a robot…

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