Tiger Woods Classy Perspiration

Tiger Woods Man in the Mirror Sweating

Sweaty Tiger Woods, you come out of hiding to make a wimpy little statement about your infidelities, and then come out of hiding again and you go and say you’ve quit golf indefinitely…  Got nuts?  Really?

You chase literally everything that sweats in your path, standards be damned, and now you’re going away to your Swedish island that you’ve just bought with the Mrs. Woods, to hide again?  Got nuts?

Where’s the red shirt now Tiger Woods?  Sweating much these days?

Well, how about where’s your wife’s wedding ring?

Elin Nordegren No Tiger Woods Ring...

It’s not on your wife, Elin Nordegren’s finger…  And thank god.  She deserves better than a sweaty, trashy traveling saleman husband.  Amen.

Here’s an update on the mistress count:

1. Rachel Uchitel. Oh Rachel, thank you for breaking the sweaty dam that drowned Tiger Woods in his own filth.  The VIP club hostess was the first (oh to be the first!) of the women to be intimately linked to Tiger Woods (and probably paid off) after the National Enquirer reported that she traveled to Australia to be with Tiger Woods during a golf tournament there.

2. Jamie Grubbs, who is just your average I want to be famous kind of Hollywood girl, and even more so now.

3. Kalika Moquin is some sort of marketing executive for the Bank nightclub, we wonder if she makes bank? This affair came to light in Life & Style magazine, Kalika Moquin replied of course with an inspiring no comment (probably because she’s made bank).

4. Cori Rist was named as another mistress, go Tiger!  Go after those difficult catches!  Shoot for the stars!   She has answered, again, inspiringly, with a no comment to allegations of the affair. She is 31 years old. An awesome former fiance of hers told the media about Cori’s time lost in the Woods, the sweaty, vapid Tiger Woods.

5. Jamie Jungers is an out this world and incredible Las Vegas drink waitress (sarcasm) and is said to have been involved with Tiger Woods for approximately 18 months. Thems a lot of drinks!

6.) Mindy Lawton is a 33 year old waitress who told her story to the U.K. publication, News of the World. Many have come out publicly to state that they do not believe Mindy Lawton’s Tiger Woods me too! story.

7. Holly Sampson gave a detailed account of her relationship with Tiger Woods in a video that was filmed on May 26, 2009.

8. Julie Postle, who’s pictured on the right, below, was ratted out by someone who used to date her (Brian Kimbrough).  Julie Postle worked as a cocktail waitress in Orlando when she started to get a some Tiger Woods in 2004.  She currently lives in Texas.

Julie Postle: Just Another Victim of Sweaty Tiger Woods

9. Theresa Rogers, who’s what the kids call a “cougar” these days, is a florida woman in her 40′s who reportedly started seeing equal opportunity Tiger Woods before and after his marriage.

10. Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 10.

11. Joslyn James, she has neither confirmed nor denied the rumors.

12. Loredana Jolie, who’s a Playboy model and an escort.

13. Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 13.

14. Unidentified Alleged Mistress No. 14.

And you know there’s like hundreds more…  All of them working up a sweat over giving up there dignity and privacy for the tabloid money.

Check out our original post from last week:

Why is This Man Sweating? The Tiger is Out of The Woods!

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