The Sexy, Sweat-Stained Pole Vault Star; Allison Stokke, Her Immoral Daddy Lawyer and The Evil Internet Tubes

Oh, the internets they are a something, especially when it comes to sweat-inducing irony of the sordid kind. Meet ever perspiring Allison Stokke, she’s a sweaty upper middle class kid from Orange County, California. There’s a farce of TV show about where’s she’s from, what was the name of it again?

Allison Stokke is quite possibly a future Olympian, whose some kind of kickass athlete who’s broken many national pole vaulting records, while hardly breaking a sweat. We’d go into detail about the records, but frankly, we’re not interested in the vaulting. We’re into the lurid and sweaty back story. The below picture of a glowing, glistening and tastefully sweating Allison Stokke is what is flaming through the “internets.”

Here’s the interesting part that the so-called national media isn’t mentioning. In the top right of the first picture above, is Allison’s Daddy, Al Stokke. Mr. Stokke has a very colorful past defending some quite indefensible, unevolved slime. Here’s a blurb from feministing.com:

After we posted a link to the story about Alison Stokke, the high-school track athlete who has been unwillingly turned into an internet sex object, sharp-eyed reader Evan emailed with the observation that Stokke’s father is the same guy who earlier this year defended a cop who jerked off on a stripper during a routine traffic stop. “She got what she wanted,” Al Stokke said, of the stripper. “She’s an overtly sexual person.”

Mr. Stokke, how exactly do you define an “overtly sexual person?” And who’s qualified to perform that definition? Poor Allison, I’m sure there are about one hundred million males by all conservative estimates, who are up in a heavy sweat over defining your daughter as “an overtly sexual person.” It’s best not to bring work home, huh Mr. Stokke. Oh, and it gets worse, much worse. In a much publicized story (especially in California) about a certain very rich assistant sheriff’s son, Greg Haidl, who was a part of a videotaped gang-rape involving instruments of mass perversion. Yes, you read that right, they (Greg Haidl, Kyle Nachreiner and Keith Spann) videotaped the whole thing. From the
OC Weekly, Allison’s dad in his true reptilian form:

The defense niceties vanished immediately. Defense lawyer Al Stokke, who replaced lead trial attorney Joseph G. Cavallo, questioned any link between the rape and the victim’s claim of mental anguish. Stokke also mocked the girl’s physical injuries, finally conceding she was unconscious but then trying to use that against her. “There’s [no pain] that is felt,” he said, “because she was unconscious.”

Yes, you also read that right as well. Al Stokke is the Karl Rove of the legal world, no ethics, no rules, only win baby. We’re excessively sweating writing these words…In trials that involved paid-off jurors, private investigators, smear-campaigns and an unlimited amount of the worst kind of ugly, Al Stokke’s statements still stand out.

Unfortunately, Al Stokke is somebody’s daddy, Allison Stokke’s daddy. During the start of Allison Stokke’s internet fame, Daddy patrolled the message boards looking for stalker-ish behavior. “Overtly sexual” behavior possibly? The parents and Allison then started doing interviews both online and on TV about how all the fame is unwanted and could possibly endanger their media virgin of a sweaty daughter.

What’s odd about all of this is that daddy-Al-Stokke is most likely smart enough to know that if you really wanted all the attention to go away, you wouldn’t allow any interviews at all. You would simply let the sweaty internet perversion river run its course into carpal tunnel oblivion. However, if your move is to complain in interviews, king leads the pawns into thinking that the family doesn’t want any of the attention, when in fact Allison has a lucrative endorsement future ahead of her. The interviews expose her to national sponsors, keep her image wholesome and innocent which is more attractive to sponsors and lastly, shames those of us on the internets who think their hot, atheletic daughter is well, hot and atheletic, checkmate! Conspiracy theory say you? Well, for us it’s a very likely scenario, after all, Allison did ask her coach if he knew of any “reliable media consultants.” All of this irony is making even us all sweaty and nervous, what’s a blogger to do? Well, here are some more hot sweaty pics, enjoy…

For more on the above mentioned stories, click the following links:

OC Weekly Haidl Case Story Archive, scroll down

FeministSting Archive

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